5. You are able to show love reasonably well, but are not so hot at receiving it. It’s time for you to:

a) Let your mate know that it’s never been easy for you to receive affection, and let it go at that;
b) Blame it on your mother who never showed you enough affection when you were two;
c) Blame it on your dad who was a long haul truck driver away from home six months of the year;
d) Take responsibility for change, as hard as it is, admitting that you have difficulty receiving affection. Ask your mate for patience as you learn to give and receive signs of affection.

6. You’ve heard that relationships are “give and take,” requiring balance and reciprocity. To you this means:

a) Take – then give at least a little back so she/ he will stick around;
b) Take – at least until your mate gets so resentful and threatens to end the relationship;
c) Give, give and then give some more. You figure maybe he'll/she'll stick around if you give enough;
d) You practice giving, and setting healthy boundaries on not giving inappropriately.

7. You’ve been hurt before in loving relationships. That can only mean one thing:

a) Stop sticking your foolish neck out. Stick with women’s quilting parties or men’s church basketball leagues;
b) Consider it a sign that you are never supposed to be in a relationship again;
c) Take a chance, but keep your expectations so low that you can’t be disappointed;
d) Understand that love requires measured risks. Know that you can learn from past hurts and make better choices in the future.

8. Your mate lovingly suggests that it may be time to participate in some counseling together to improve the relationship. You:

a) Look at him/her like he's/she's nuts and quickly change the subject;
b) You inform him/her you read parts of two books on relationships over the past twenty years and know everything you need to know:
c) You self-righteously suggest that God will mold your character in His own way and time;
d) You share that you are open to learning new things about your character and relationship skills, and are willing to go to counseling together.

Okay, time’s up. Pencils down. Pass your papers to the right.

As you review your answers, and possibly discuss them with your mate, you’ll notice some of the answers were ridiculous. But, believe it or not, the scenarios were taken right out of my clinical experience.

At this point, you have a better idea if you’re healthy enough emotionally and spiritually to be really ready for love. You understand that simply wanting love is not enough -- you must rigorously prepare for it by preparing yourself.

Remember ... God ordained relationships but also encourages growth.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3: 12)

Click here to read the first article in this series.

David Hawkins, PhD., has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. 

He is the author of over 18 books, including  "Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage," "Saying It So He'll Listen," and  "When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You." His newest book, "When the Man in Your Life Can’t Commit," releases February 2006. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.