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Singles Q&A: What to Do in the Meantime...Continued from page 1

Carolyn McCulley

Author & Contributing Writer

So here we all are, 150 years after feminism began to profoundly affect our culture. We have the highest number of single adults ever recorded in our nation’s history, in the church and outside of it. We have nearly the same rate of divorce in the church as outside of it. And we have several generations of confused men who have been told their masculinity is the very reason for women’s oppression – exactly the opposite of what the Bible teaches about the complementarity of the sexes and the Christlike model of servant-leadership that men are to cultivate for the benefit of the church, their wives, and their families.

All of this means that getting married today is very hard – but not impossible, by the grace of God. We Christians need to carefully examine our assumptions and practices about singleness and marriage for any signs of worldliness. Are we delaying God’s good gift of marriage to pursue self-centered concerns? Are we pursuing a life built on entertainment and assuming a spouse will somehow materialize? More importantly, are we being faithful to pursue the godly virtues that are commanded by Scripture, virtues that transcend marital status?

It would seem, from what you have presented in your question, that you have reared your daughter to value marriage and motherhood and that you have been praying for her husband. So what I’ve presented so far was to give some background as to why there are so many single adults and why prayer and purposeful pursuit of marriage is so badly needed today. Assuming that you are guiding her in these ways, the issue now is what to do in the meantime.

This brings me back to the false dichotomy I mentioned above. When we think single women are not yet fully-vested models of biblical femininity, we tend to think there’s some different path for single women than for married women. But when we look at the Titus 2 commands, we see that four of the seven commands are irrespective of marital status. When we look at the Proverbs 31 woman, we see the virtues of an excellent wife as recited to a young boy – virtues he was to look for in his future wife. So these passages are equally as applicable to Christian women prior to marriage as they are afterwards.

With all of that background, I would offer this advice for your daughter:

  • Have you pursued the clear commands for cultivating biblical womanhood found in Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, among other passages? Are there areas you’ve neglected? If so, here’s one major emphasis for this season.

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