Third, those who live together often feel guilt and fear. Cohabitation often leads to the fear of STDs, unwanted pregnancy, or being “found out” because of violating God’s law. At some level, most Christians, and non-Christians as well, have misgivings about living together prior to marriage.

Fourth, living together leads to sexual and emotional involvement. While this goes without saying, many think they can “live together” without emotional and sexual entanglements. They minimize the commingling of lives that takes place, the inevitable dependency that occurs, and subsequently the pain involved in dismantling such a relationship if things don’t turn out. Your psyche, soul and body become commingled with the other’s psyche, soul and body, and we shouldn’t be surprised at the excruciating pain when relationships tear apart.

Fifth, many are looking for someone pure. Research shows that “living together” has become casual and temporary, not a first step toward marriage. While we may believe we are causing no harm to be sexually involved with this other person, that is not what their future mate would say – nor is it likely to be what you would say to your future mate. Purity counts for something.

Finally, why buy when you can take it home without charge? In my book, "When the Man in Your Life Can’t Commit," I talk about those who are in long-term relationships waiting for their man, or woman, to fully commit to them. What they don’t realize is that they have unwittingly enabled their mate to not make the full commitment. Their partner doesn’t have to commit – they can enjoy many aspects of marriage without the commitment.

With such risks, what should Terry do? What should you do if you’re a guy getting ready to pop the question, or if you’re on the receiving end of the question yourself? While the answer is not always easy, and certainly is not the one society accepts, the answer is clear. Wait. Take it slow and be careful. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”(Proverbs 4:23)  Maintain healthy sexual and emotional boundaries. Hold out for the real deal. Trying before you buy may work with cars, but doesn’t work in a relationship. Your future husband or wife deserves the best.

David Hawkins, PhD., has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. 

He is the author of over 18 books, including  "Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage," "Saying It So He'll Listen," and  "When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You." His newest book is titled "When the Man in Your Life Can’t Commit."  Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on Puget Sound, where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.