I have always admired people who could act; people who could transform themselves into another character; people who could portray another person so vividly that even had I known the actor personally, I would not have recognized him.  Great actors make it look so easy, so effortless. 

I often think that, if given the opportunity and the right parts, I could become a good actor.  I have never delved into acting professionally or even as a hobby, but I have done my share of it over the years.  We all have, whether it was “on a stage” or not.

There are many great actors out there who never step on a stage, get in front of a camera, or stand before an audience.  A lot of the best actors in the world are those who walk through the doors of a church, trying to portray something that they are not, hiding behind ministry and church-going as their character. 

Our “performance” comes when we are approached by friends, family, and even strangers inquiring about how we are doing, what’s going on in our life, and how our relationship is with the Lord.  We portray someone who has it together, living life to the fullest, doing everything that we are meant to do and praising the Lord at every step.  But when the curtains close, when the audience leaves, and when the lights go out, we retreat to the backstage of our lives, often hiding our true feelings.

My most challenging performances come during the holidays, seeing people I haven’t seen in awhile or meeting new people at gatherings and functions.  I am reminded of those things that I didn’t accomplish, those goals that I wasn’t able to reach, and those parts of me that I didn’t change.  The words “fine” and “good” are usually the answer to the many questions that I am asked, when it is all but “fine” and “good.”

As singles, it’s easy to hide, easy to retreat, easy to act.  Oftentimes we are only “personally” interacting with a few people each day and we are able to slowly build a wall around ourselves, one brick at a time.  It almost becomes second nature and a part of being “self-sufficient” and independent to go through the day as if everything is alright, taking care of everything ourselves, but in reality burying another part of ourselves under a layer of another day.

But if we, as singles, expose ourselves and reveal that we’re not doing well or that we’re struggling with something, we risk being looked upon as not having it together or being discontent in our singleness.  As a result, we end up hiding our feelings or trying to be what we think others think we should be. 

John and Stasi Eldredge, in their book "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul" (yes, I read it and I admit it), states, “If we continue to hide, much will be lost.  We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted.”