“How could we be in 2005 already? Weren’t we all just panicking that the world would end only five short years ago? Where did all the time go – and why in the world am I still single? I thought things finally would be different this year!”

Welcome to my typical mental soundtrack on any New Year’s Day. In fact, I’m sure I said some of those things aloud this year. But this year, the unpleasant discovery to find myself in the same state as the previous year was tempered by the shocking news of the Southeast Asia tsunami. For thousands there, change was not pleasant — it was devastating.

Whether we are facing the shock of loss or the quiet despair of hope deferred, the beginning of a new year is often the time when we close the door with relief on a year full of trials and unfulfilled expectations — and face the coming year with unexpectant apathy, certain that nothing will get better. Yet I believe that God’s Word calls us to a different response.

Surveying Our Circumstances

There is one biblical account where we can we find another single woman wrestling with the same outlook — an account where we can also find much encouragement. It is the Old Testament book of Ruth. But what may surprise you is that Ruth and her eventual marriage to Boaz is not the subject of this column. Instead, we are examining the other single woman in that story — the widow Naomi.

Let’s focus on the part of that narrative when Naomi and Ruth arrive in Bethlehem (Ruth 1:19-21). Here, they were greeted by the women of that town who marveled that Naomi had returned to them after ten years in exile in Moab. But to Naomi, overcome with self-pity, their greetings were hollow. “Do not call me pleasant [Naomi],” she said. “Call me bitter [Mara]. For the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

Here we have two single women, one of whom has evaluated her present unhappy condition and decided that God was always going to be dealing bitterly with her. Naomi assumed her future was as barren as she was, but that wasn’t true. She had surveyed her circumstances as a widow whose only sons had died and concluded that the Lord had no further blessings for her. But God was not finished. Even as she uttered her complaint, God was quietly orchestrating the circumstances that would lead not only to the redemption of Naomi’s family line and property, but also to the ancestry of Jesus Christ. For standing next to Naomi was the Lord’s provision for material and relational blessing — Ruth. And just beyond Ruth, the barley harvest was ripening in the fields of her kinsman-redeemer, Boaz. God’s quiet providence was already peeking forth, but Naomi couldn’t perceive it.

A New Resolve

New Year’s day can show us a similar, subtle form of unbelief:  When our prayers seem to go unheeded, we can learn to live in unexpectant apathy. We go through the motions, but we’re not convinced that God will bless us. Bottom line, ugly truth — we really don’t trust God. This is no minor issue. As author and theologian Jerry Bridges wrote, “God views our distrust of Him as seriously as He views our disobedience.”

Naomi’s experience reveals God’s faithful provision for one individual. But this biblical account highlights another aspect of God’s loving and wise sovereignty: He works on a scale much larger than our individual lives.

I’ve often daydreamed about the testimony I hope to have on my wedding day. I want to stand up and say that the long wait for my husband was worth it. I want to say that the Lord is fully trustworthy. I want to give Him all the glory should He give me the gift of marriage. It’s as though I’ve been running a grueling race and, having flopped over the “finish line” of marriage, I can stand in the winner’s circle with an inspiring story about the reasons for the delay. 

Those aren’t necessarily bad dreams. But they are puny. They start and stop with my individual blessing. I’m rarely daydreaming about how God may be using my life (single or married) to accomplish a grander purpose for numerous people. This finite creature has finite plans. But our infinite God has infinite plans to accomplish His purpose of redemption in our generation and beyond. This is what we have displayed for us in the book of Ruth. Naomi and Ruth undoubtedly were encouraged by what the Lord did for them in their lifetimes, but I suspect they would have been shocked to know how God worked through them to bring about His glorious plan of redemption and salvation.

God is still working — let us be resolved on that point. And may we never forget one essential point:  What we can see of our circumstances is not all that is there. Whether we are single or married, God is working to glorify Himself through those circumstances, and only He knows the best way to accomplish His plans. At any given time, we can’t see the grand panorama of His grace. But, secure in the reality of it, we can rest in the promise that still echoes across time:  My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose … I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it (Isaiah 46:9-11).

In light of that, let me wish you once again a happy, expectant new year!

© 2005 Carolyn McCulley

Carolyn McCulley is a freelance writer who is active in the singles ministry of her church, Covenant Life Church. She also works for Sovereign Grace Ministries as the media specialist. This column is part of a series adapted for Crosswalk from Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred (Crossway, 2004) by Carolyn McCulley © 2004. (Used by permission of Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187,
 www.gnpcb.org.) The book is addressed to single women, but male readers are still welcome to learn more about their sisters in Christ. For more information or to send feedback, visit her website at www.carolynmcculley.com.