Thanksgiving Bloopers and Blunders
- Crosswalk.com Readers
- 2008 11 Nov
Sometimes our most sincere attempts at the "perfect Thanksgiving" just don't go as planned! We asked Crosswalk readers to share some of their funniest Thanksgiving memories and mishaps. So enjoy a few laughs, and know that although no family is perfect, there is much to thank God for this year -- including the gift of humor!
"Someone I used to work with told me this story about her first attempt at pumpkin pie. Not one known as a cook, she tried anyway to bake a pumpkin pie for her fiancé and his family. The pie was presented to her future in-laws who were probably scrutinizing her cooking skills. The pie looked great -- however when adding clove, she missed the "ground" part! Yep, she put whole cloves in the pie!" -- Thomas
"A few years ago, my sister and I were in the kitchen with Mom helping her get dinner ready to set out. She was getting the turkey out of the oven and as she turned to place it on the counter, she lost her grip on the rack. She managed to hold onto the rack, but the turkey went flying across the kitchen and landed right side up on the floor. We all stood there for a minute staring at the very bizarre sight of a cooked turkey in the middle of the floor. Then Mom bent down, picked the bird up, took it to the sink, rinsed off the bottom, and plopped it onto the serving tray. She looked at my sister and me and through gritted teeth said, "Not a word, you two," then went on with dinner preparations like it never happened. My sister and I were dying laughing. Throughout dinner one of us would say something to the other like, "Does this turkey taste a little like Pine-Sol, or is it just me?" We'd both be off in fits if hysterics while the rest of the family looked at us like we were nuts. It was one of our best holiday memories that we still tease Mom about." -- Karlie
"The very first time I was going to make a turkey dinner for company at my house, my mom offered to make the gravy. She has always used the flour and water in a covered shaker, shaken up, and then slowly added to the boiling meat and potato juices. Well, Mom was shaking away, and the top was not on just right and -- well, you can guess the rest. We were cleaning up flour and water from just about every nook and cranny of the sink area of my kitchen! McCormick's gravy mixes have been my friend ever since." -- Sharon
"I had to have my mom coach me via phone to get me to stick my hand in and remove the goody bag. I was so grossed out, I almost didn't make the turkey. From now on we go to someone else's, or I buy a turkey breast and cook that." -- Brandy
"Thanksgiving, being the food-centered holiday that it is in the U.S., was always one of those days that Mom would dread, but knew it was worth it because it was also one of the few times she could get all four of us kids, our spouses, and sundry grandkids all in one room. Things were going pretty well. Mom did have a problem that she'd misplaced the cookbook she always used for the pies, but she seemed confident that she had it under control. Everything looked as wonderful as it always did, so when family arrived everything seemed to be as smooth as glass. We all gathered 'round the dining room table (all 18 of us!) -- the turkey was perfect, the potatoes, the veggies, the salads -- everything was right on the money. Conversation was flowing as freely as the gravy on the potatoes. Like the typical American family, we ate 'til we hurt. Then Mom gets up and offers to get dessert, asking who wanted pumpkin, who wanted pecan, who wanted ice cream and who didn't as she walked into the kitchen ... where she found the dog on the table, having eaten most of the pumpkin pie!" -- Ron
"Two years ago, my wife broke up the bread for the stuffing the night before Thanksgiving. She had it in a large Tupperware bowl. Before she went to bed, she stuck it in the oven to make sure nothing got into it overnight. The next morning, as she was busy getting other things ready she turned on the oven to preheat it to bake some pumpkin dessert. I smelled something strange, and asked her if she was burning toast. She opened the oven to find a melted bowl and some beautifully toasted dressing. I took the oven racks out to the garage and cleaned the melted plastic off them, and she made up some more stuffing. By the time family started to arrive, everything was back to normal and on schedule." -- John
"When my husband was in college, his brother and sister-in-law had sent him tickets so that he could spend Thanksgiving with them, several states away. At that time, he had one of those calendars that started on Monday instead of Sunday. This confused him about what day it was, so he missed his plane." -- Dee
"We went shopping for Thanksgiving Day food the night before Thanksgiving (long story -- thought we'd get invited somewhere, we didn't... ) I had just gotten home from school, and it was a long day. But Eric had had a long day too, so he wanted me to drive. I didn't have my keys very accessible, so I used his keys. We pulled into Albertson's, and I didn't want to take in my purse, so I just grabbed my wallet and left the purse in my backpack. Well, to get my wallet from my purse, I set the keys down. We went in to Albertson's. We couldn't find any turkeys that were cheap enough. Eric decided to go try Safeway across the street. I had a Safeway card in my purse (not wallet) and told him to go get it. But he didn't have his keys. Well ... I didn't have them. They were in the console ... and my keys? In my backpack on the floor. We bought some hangers and tried to jimmy the lock ourselves, but were unsuccessful. We were in the parking lot for about 2 hours, and then had to wait for a locksmith -- another 30 minutes -- and the locksmith was $75, cash only. Good thing there was a bank in the shopping center! By the time we got into the car, Albertson's was going to close in 30 minutes, and there were no turkeys left -- not even expensive ones. So we bought a $10 turkey roast. I was disgusted that we spent $10 on an eight-pound turkey roast when that same year my sister was able to get three 20-pound turkeys for $5 each!" -- Christine
"When my husband and I were newly married we followed his family's tradition and went to his sister's house for Thanksgiving. His sister is not a good housekeeper, and I have to admit eating there made me a little queasy, but I was a "good" wife and didn't say too much ... until ... the year I was washing dishes after the big meal. I went to wash out the big bulb-baster she used to baste the turkey. When I took it apart little bits of black stuff came out into the dishwater. I realized the inside of the bulb was full of black mold and yucky stuff. I almost threw up in the dishwater realizing we had all just eaten turkey basted with that! The following year (and each year since) we have had other plans for Thanksgiving." -- Martha
"Every year there was always a problem with the turkey being dry. I mean cough-hacking, let's-dip-it-in-the-KoolAid dry. With the string of dry turkeys each year Mom would say, "This year it won't be dry," and it was still dry. Well one year in particular, the year the cycle was broken, Mom cooked her turkey. She basted it, she nurtured it, she kept good watch, she called older aunts and just really went all out. I have to admit -- this turkey was beautiful and moist and golden, just beautiful. She was beaming! It came time to take that baby out of the oven. We had lots of family over for dinner, and suddenly we heard a noise from the kitchen ... then a scream. We ran in ... and Mom had dropped the poor, beautiful, moist turkey on the floor. We consoled her and told her it was all right. So she picked her turkey up, that had -- yep you guessed it -- fallen into a not-so-pretty state, and put him in a dish (floor was clean). We blessed that food and ate. That turkey sure was good. Needless to say while everyone talked about how "rough" that turkey looked -- no one let it get by how good it actually tasted." -- Shaunii
Visit Crosswalk's Thanksgiving Facebook page at www.facebook.com/iAmThankful.