Make your home a trauma unit. Tend to the emotional wounds of family members who become hurt by negative experiences or crises. Choose to love them even when they act in unlovable ways as they process their emotions. Listen compassionately to them. Allow them to express disappointment and grief. Encourage and support them as they pursue healing and hope. Pray for them, and with them if they let you do so.

Make your home a church. Since your kids spend much more time at home than they do in church, they’ll be more spiritually influenced by the faith you share with them at home than they will be by even the best church programs. Make your relationship with Jesus your top priority, and let them see you live out that commitment daily in your own life so they’ll be inspired to do so themselves. Encourage them to read the Bible and pray often. Whenever you encounter a “teachable moment” that illustrates God’s truth working in everyday life, point out God at work and discuss it with your children. Live out your faith in every area of your life instead of compartmentalizing it, so your kids will learn that Christianity is more than just going to church; it’s a way of life. Reach out to children from unstable homes by encouraging them to hang out with your kids at your home, offering them rides to church, or hosting events like backyard Bible clubs.

Make your home a pep rally. Cheer on your family members. Let them know that they have great potential, and that you believe in them and all God has in store for them. Celebrate ordinary events, such as by showing up as a family to your kids’ concerts or sports games to support them. Celebrate rites of passage like puberty, moving to a new school, getting a first job, or learning to drive. Celebrate birthdays, accomplishments, and great efforts. Appreciate the uniqueness of each family member, and help your family see how their different strengths and weaknesses and complement each other. Encourage family members to pursue their dreams, and support them along the way.

Make your home a research lab. Help your family members discover their interests and talents and develop their skills. Teach your kids basic life skills in a variety of important areas, like: food preparation, mechanics, technology, yard care, reading and writing, leadership, and physical fitness. Give them plenty of opportunities to gain new knowledge in their areas of interest, and put that new knowledge into practice in their lives. When one of your kids shows a strong interest in something that doesn’t interest you, ask God to help you step into that child’s world and support him or her.

Make your home a school. Teach your kids skills they’ll need to be successful in life, including people skills (such as making introductions, phone etiquette, thank-you notes, table manners, and hosting other people) self-management skills (like taking care of personal hygiene, managing time and money well, organizing space well, and doing homework and studying for tests effectively), home management skills (doing the chores needed to maintain a clean and organized home), spiritual disciplines (such as Bible reading, praying, and attending church and youth group) and developing biblical character and values.