Two Guys in a Locker Room
Dr. Paul Dean is a pastor, cultural commentator, and author. He serves as a Regional Mentor with the International Association of Biblical Counselors, speaks at several conferences throughout the year, and provides training for ministers and churches on a regular basis. Paul resides in the Upstate of South Carolina with his wife and three children.
- 2015 Nov 03
So I heard two guys talking in the locker room when I went to the gym the other day.
“What you doing this weekend?”
“Going to my brother’s wedding.”
“Is it his first one?”
“No, his second. I missed the first one; I guess that’s why it didn’t stick.”
“Well, the second one is always better.”
The thing that struck me was the question, “Is it his first one.” It’s never occurred to me to ask that question – never. Now, I’m mindful of those who’ve divorced, some for biblical reasons and some for selfish. And there’s forgiveness for the selfish. But I’m talking about how I think. And this isn’t a pat me on the back piece. I’m just highlighting the contrast between worldviews: God’s and all others.
There are reasons for this guy’s question; one is experience. He’s been there and done that. His second marriage is better, until he gets tired of her too. But behind that experience is the mindset of our culture toward marriage – it’s not that important; it’s anyone to anyone; it’s something to be delayed because life is over once it happens; it’s not about building a life together because you’re going to be married more than once. Not happy with your used car? Just trade up.
This morning I saw a re-tweet of a post by a wildly famous advice guru. The topic was the IRS, which is why I read it. But in the midst of chronicling his tax troubles, he casually mentioned his intention toward adultery prior to his divorce. He wondered if such thoughts made him a bad guy. Bizarrely, his later advice for karma points included being good to your wife, uh, your second wife at least. Wondering how many times you’ve been married and nonchalantly disclosing adulterous intentions are standard fare now. No eyebrows raised in this culture.
During the football game this weekend, a commercial came on for a television series that featured serial adultery. The title revealed that much. It’s sad when you have to change the channel on commercials. Again, so goes the culture.
But other things occurred to me. The vast majority of those in the entertainment industry are unbelievers and have no biblical grounding whatsoever, and as a result, they can’t help but propagate their worldview on ethics, morals, relationships, and everything else under the sun. Millions will watch this show with great delight including countless Christians. Now, it’s a fact that one’s thinking is altered proportionate to what one allows in. This is why the Scripture places a premium on renewing the mind. If it’s not being renewed daily, then it’s necessarily being conformed to this world. And then I realized why too many Christians sound just like two guys in a locker room.