Laura MacCorkle Christian Blog and Commentary

The Secret Life of Singles

Listen, my children, and you will hear, of the secret life of singles both far and near. ...

Singles are a plentiful and prosperous breed.  Have you ever seen us?  We may even be sitting next to you right now.  We’re in your church.  Your workplace.  And probably living right on your street.

But how well do you know us?  Or, rather, how well do you really want to know us?  I’m sure you’ve heard stories or made your own observations.  Some based on fact, some fiction. 

Yes, we truly are a different sort, we Singles.  And, I fear, often misunderstood.  So I am here today as an ambassador and representative of WASA, the Well-Adjusted Singles Association, to set the record straight and give you some facts about the well-adjusted Singles who are inhabiting the world around you. …

We are responsible.  Contrary to popular belief, not all Singles are living in their parents’ basement ‘til their late 40s and frittering away their lives playing video games or watching soap operas. Many of us have jobs and mortgages.  We tithe, contribute to 401ks and pay our bills on time. 

We are serving in the church.  In the nursery and in the choir.  Teaching Sunday School or volunteering in the soup kitchen.  We’re all over!  Singles love to serve in any ministry capacity.  We are a family unit.  Please respect that and don’t overlook what we can contribute to the work of the Kingdom as a one-person household.

We enjoy people from all walks of life.  Singles don’t have to stick to their own kind.  In fact, we would love to spend time with the Marrieds.  Don’t be afraid to invite your neighborhood Singles over for dinner, out for a movie or to a holiday gathering.  We won’t bite, and chances are you’ll find you have more in common with us than you think. 

We love children.  Just because Singles don’t have offspring of their own doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy spending time around those shorter than 5 feet tall.  We can be mentors, and we can babysit.  We can tutor and be youth group leaders.  We have a lot of love and wisdom to give to the younger set.

We have full lives.  Think a Single is the only one who should stay late to finish the project at work or the only one who should come in to the office on the weekend?  Au contraire.  We’ve got busy schedules, too.  Just because there are no spouse or children involved does not mean we don’t have fulfilling personal lives.  We’re in Bible studies and are members of community organizations.  We have hobbies and are pursuing higher ed degrees. 

We are mature.  Marriage does not automatically equal maturity.  Likewise, well-adjusted Singles should not be viewed as overgrown teenagers.  Talk to us like you would a married person.  Respect the lives we have lived and the experiences and knowledge we carry with us.

We care about the issues.  We’re not just thinking about ourselves 24/7.  Singles are aware of the issues affecting the world around us and care about the future of our country, our environment and the coming generations.  Don’t be afraid to engage us in conversation on important social and political issues.

We are not desperate.  Yes, some Singles do have a desire to marry and have children.  But we have not made this an unhealthy obsession in our lives.  As we wait for God’s direction and His timing, we are productive in the meantime.  Matchmaking opportunities are generally welcomed, but we would appreciate the matchmaker doing some homework and getting to know us first.  Just because someone is single, available and of the opposite sex does not mean an add-water-and-stir love connection will be made.  And don’t get your feelings hurt if a connection doesn’t take.  After all, who’s to really know when it comes to matters of the heart?

We welcome accountability.  Living solo, accountability can be harder to come by and easier to avoid.  Well-adjusted Singles welcome those who respectfully speak into our lives, love us with gentle admonitions or highlight timeless truths from Scripture.  Don’t be afraid to ask us the tough questions.  We can handle it and aren’t afraid to reciprocate.