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Nicki Koziarz Christian Blog and Commentary

Maybe I do need Him more than you.

  • Nicki Koziarz


    Nicki Koziarz is a speaker, writer, and leader in today's generation. She lives just outside of Charlotte, NC with her husband and their three girls. As a leader and speaker, Nicki is willing to tackle the hard issues this generation is facing to encourage the pursuit of God's Truth in their lives. She is on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries as the coordinator for their online Bible studies. Nicki speaks nationally for retreats, conferences, events and MOPS groups. For more information on having Nicki for your next event you can email her at: [email protected] Visit Nicki's site at:

  • 2011 Nov 29
  • Comments

I have a friend who does not share my belief in who God is.

She feels like God is non-existent. She believes after we die, we will return to earth as a bug, tree, or maybe even another person.

We’ve had some intense and challenging conversations. But 95% of the time we agree to disagree.

Can I be honest for a moment?

There was a time in my life when I would avoid a person who felt so strongly opposed to my faith.

I don’t like intense fellowship. I don’t like conflict. I don’t like disagreements.

And, I like me some Jesus.

But, when my friend said that she thinks its an absurd notion to believe Jesus will be what ultimately brings us to heaven ... I agreed.

It is absurd.

It is crazy. It is wild-thinking. It doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Jesus is a scandalous message.

And thankfully, because of Jesus, I don’t feel like my faith is so fragile anymore. Now, I welcome the discussion with friends as to whether or not this Jesus-thing is the real deal.

In fact, I need these conversations in my life.

Because they make me see just how much I need Jesus.

Some days I believe I need Him more than anyone on this earth. Most days I’m convinced there is not a more messed up person who ever existed. I see so many flaws and mistakes that it leads my heart to a place of doom … without … Jesus.

So I understand, faith in who Jesus is often feels like a paradox.

How could it be true?

Why would it be true?

There was a time when my thoughts of Jesus went as deep as the felt-board character that Mrs. Nelly in the little Baptist church told us stories about.

Jesus was something I had to believe in … because its what I was told to believe in Him.

But today, I am seeing why I need Jesus so bad.

I’m seeing Jesus is my only source and my only option. {Psalm 121}

I’m seeing Jesus as the only constant in my life. Everything changes … but Him. {Hebrews 4:16}

I’m seeing Jesus as the man who offers me one agenda, love. {John 3:16}

The truth is, I see my greater need for Jesus each day because of the daily revelation I see of who I am without Him. And that isn't pretty...

So, maybe I do need Jesus more than you.

Maybe you need Jesus more than me.

But the one place where I rest my soul today is in knowing that He is more than enough … for all of us.

Our questions, doubts, and fears don’t offend Him.The struggles, guilt, and sins in our life don’t threaten Him. He’s never looked at a person on this earth and said, “Yes … you are going to be to much work for me, I think I’ll pass.”

He chooses you. He chooses me. He hand-picks us. He spent some amazing time dreaming us up.

The truth is, I see that I am a very unlikely Jesus girl. But I also see the girl I want to be ... and she is simply impossible to become without being connected to a God whose highest standard is grace.