A divorce, you see, will indeed be easier FOR THEM. Less painful FOR THEM. Less demanding FOR THEM. Less time consuming FOR THEM. Less of a personal hassle (especially as celebrities) FOR THEM. Less threatening to THEIR egos and THEIR self-images and personal plans/goals.

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With tears in her eyes, Kate said, “I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to do this alone.” Well, to you, Kate, if you ever read this little blurb of mine, please know that you don’t have to to be alone. You don’t have to do it alone. You and Jon have everything you need (and more) in order to “do it” together. But you need to be willing to change and become something more than what you are now. Falling out of love is not a good enough reason to quit. No longer being able to communicate well is not a good enough reason to quit. Feeling trapped and held back from what YOU think is the most fun and fulfilling life for YOU is not a good enough reason to quit. That’s what God says to those who call Jesus their Lord.

And to Jon, I would say: “Bro, I know it’s tough. I know it hurts. I know you feel you are no longer the 'Jon' you always thought you’d be and the 'Jon' you want to be. But if you want God’s best for you and of you want  God's best for your kids, then you need to grow up. Break yourself open in humility. Be strong in the Lord and seek what HE desires above all else — i.e., a healthy/growing relationship with Kate that mirrors the loving, compassionate, strong, God-centered relationship between a husband (a picture of Christ) and a wife (a picture of the church): ‘A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church’ (Eph. 5:31-32).”

And again, we have this passage: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.” (Eph. 5:25-30).

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To both Jon and Kate, I would say: “Marriages with a lot less to run on have succeeded and have been healed by God through a willingness on the part of husband and wife to do whatever it took to make it work by: growing up, changing, forgiving, being forgiven, letting go of the self, sacrificing for each other, and being obedient to God — no matter how much it hurts.

Why do it? The kids, first of all. There is no way your divorce is "best" for them. You should also stay together because it’s the right thing to do. Moreover, it’s the the godly/biblical thing to do. By sticking it out you both could emerge from this struggle as different/better people — for God, for others, and more importantly, for your children. But if you quit, then you will remain as troubled as you are now; you will hurt your kids (contrary to what you keep saying); and you will ignore the words of the God you profess to believe in and follow.”

Pray for John & Kate plus their little eight. They are all going to need it.

in peace,

RICHARD ABANES