Do You Believe in Soulmates?
- Wednesday, November 10, 2004
I don't believe in soulmates. To me, having a soulmate means there's only one person God has chosen specifically for me and predestined for me to marry. The reason I don't believe in this is because on God's list of priorities, his top desire is for everyone to be born again. Even so, according to
I think God has ordained someone special for each individual—just like Adam and Eve. When God created Adam, he only created one mate for him, not several potential mates. I think it was like this for a purpose. God wanted this to be an example for us. Otherwise God could have created a whole generation of people and then let Adam meet Eve either by divine intervention or after dating several potential mates.
There are a lot of single, Christian, God-fearing brothers out there, but just because they're Christian doesn't mean they're compatible with every Christian woman. I have several Christian guy friends who will make great husbands for women other than me. It will take a special man to minister to my needs as a single mom to two teenage girls. Marriage is a ministry, and just like certain gifts are required to minister to the needs of individuals in ministry, the same applies to a marriage.
I think we should always reflect back to the first marriage when addressing a question like this one. What happens is we deviate from God's plan because of anxiousness and go through several potential mates before we get to the right one. We must allow God to bring us to the person he has for us. Sometimes, in our effort to meet the one God has for us, we may develop soul ties with other people and may confuse this person as being our soulmate. We must remember Adam didn't have to go looking for Eve; God brought her to him. Think about it, there was no other Joseph for Mary, there was no other Sarah for Abraham, and there was no other Eve for Adam.
I don't believe in soulmates. My parents probably thought they were soulmates when they were married 30 years ago, but I doubt they would say that now. They can barely tolerate each other, and have been that way for the past 25 years. Truly, the happiest couples I know are the couples whose relationship is grounded in their relationship with God and their conscious decision to love each other through thick and thin. For example, my best friend's parents met in college. Marilyn was engaged to another guy. Ted was single and had his eye on Marilyn. Marilyn's fiancé ; dumped her, so Ted asked her to marry him. She thought, Why not? I don't have any other prospects. Fifty-three years later, they're the happiest, most loving couple I know. They're committed to God and to each other. They'd never claim to be soulmates. They were just two single college students who didn't want to spend their lives alone.
I don't doubt the existence of true passionate love. I just think the best, most lasting love is the kind you grow into through commitment and patience. My best friend and her husband are more the soulmate type, I guess. They were high school sweethearts and have known each other since they were hanging out in the church crib together. They love each other so much it fills the room when you're with them. It's beautiful. But they've struggled to maintain that love. They've fought hard and worked hard and committed to God and to each other. Their soulmate love has grown into a more mature, committed love.
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