A noble man is a hiding place from the rough elements of life, a man who offers protection and shelter. He does not leave you exposed – either to ridicule or to harm. He is refreshment in a dry place, bringing much encouragement. He flows with streams of living water because he is a man of the Word. He is shade in weariness – reflecting the strength of the Rock, Christ. When a man is making noble plans toward you, he wants to offer you covering. He will offer to serve you, help carry your burdens, and pour the Word into your dry soul. His deeds will be noble, not common. He will show evidences of cherishing you, protecting your boundaries and standards. He won’t touch you like a common object, and he will exert himself to care for you and to notice your needs.

Most importantly, a noble man is a submitted man himself. He serves his King wholeheartedly and makes himself accountable to other men. In my opinion, this should be one of the first characteristics we look for in any man who pursues us. In the happiest marriages I’ve seen, the husbands have other men in their lives who observe them, offer correction, and ask them how they are doing serving their wives and children. Without that community of accountability and authority, a couple has no one outside themselves to appeal to for help in unresolved conflict. Author and pastor Andrew Farmer writes:

“A woman should evaluate a man’s respect for authority. In our society, the godly man is most distinct from the worldly man in the way he has put away prideful independence and pursued humble submissiveness. A man who is independent in his faith and does not seek the counsel and oversight of pastors and other mature men, will be a failure as a leader (and therefore as a husband) as defined by Scripture. See the story of Abigail and Nabal for a sad example of an arrogant man not worthy of his virtuous wife (1 Samuel 25).”

The Intentional Man

If you are fortunate, you know a few tested, noble men. What remains is whether or not they are being intentional toward you. The “problem” with godly men is that they are so markedly different – gentlemanly, kind, attentive – from most men in our culture that it’s hard not to receive it personally. I see that over and over again in my church as new women join. Inevitably, one of the guys will offer to walk a woman to her car after a meeting. These women usually have one of two reactions. Either they will refuse the offer because they think the guy is interested, or they will light up like Times Square because they think he is interested. What they don’t know is that there is a third option: he’s not interested, he’s just extending gentlemanly care. Because they don’t know the culture, it’s easy to be confused.