We let him know that Delilahs could show up at any season of his life, even when he was happily married. The enemy throws temptations at men regardless of age.

We’ve taken a similar approach with our daughter also warning her about even “good” Christian guys who might capture her heart before she’s fully grounded in the direction of God’s plan for her life. The enemy doesn’t discriminate between guys and girls. His plan is to steal away or distract as many hearts from the Lord as he can.

GUARDING THE HEART
In our “Samson and Delilah talks” we would often mention that despite the strong call of God on his life, Samson was pretty much led by his flesh and not his spirit. It was obvious that he did little to guard his heart. What I call guarding “the heart,” others may call guarding “the soul.” Either way, I’m talking about being careful of what we allow to influence our mind, will, and emotions.

Differences in personality, temperament and spiritual maturity will influence how successfully a teen will guard his heart. While there is no simple formula that will safeguard anyone’s heart, parents can definitely play a crucial role in encouraging their teens to be careful before they plunge into romance too soon and too fast.

PRACTICAL HELP
There is a children’s song that says, “Be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love.” The following verses include what the “ears hear, where the feet go, and what the hands do.” This advice is not just good for children, but excellent for guarding anyone’s heart no matter the age.

Many parents ask how they can encourage their sons and daughters who want to guard their hearts, but struggle with controlling romantic feelings. Here are a few practical ways:

1. Be aware of what might trigger romantic feelings. Is it certain kinds of music? For guys, it might be a visit to the internet. For girls, it may be a certain movie, or romance novel. Help guide their choices by listening to their music and watching movies together. Ask them questions about why they like a certain song or movie. Listen carefully to their responses and ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom to guide them.
   If your teen’s desire is truly to focus on preparing for his future and seeking God’s plan, he probably won’t have that much time to spend “feeding” romantic feelings. Unless they have made a conscious effort to resist the cultural norm of early romance, most teens will need help keeping their feelings in check until a more appropriate time.
2. Realize that your teens need encouragement about their thought life. Regardless of our culture, it is possible to pursue a thought life of purity. Offer to read the book of Proverbs with your son or daughter. Discuss the temptations they face and pray the Word of God over them. Consider the verses below:
   • Be transformed by the renewing of your mind- Romans 12:2
   • Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires- Romans 8:5
   • God will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear- I Corinthians 10:13
   • God’s power is made perfect in weakness- II Corinthians 12:9
   • Flee also youthful lusts- II Timothy 2:22
   The Bible would not include these encouraging words if it were not possible to live them out. Have faith that the Bible truly means what it says and that it has the power to change us.
3. Help your teens understand that God is the author of their sex-drive. Pray with your teens that the Lord will help them keep romantic feelings at bay until the right season. Let your teens know the more they save their feelings for marriage, the more intimacy they will enjoy with their spouse. Help them understand how important it is to practice controlling their thoughts and feelings, so that they may be better equipped for staying pure now and later on in marriage.
   Our teens need vision, wisdom and self-control. The development of these characteristics is not a matter of reaching a certain age. It is part of the growth process of spiritual maturity for all of us. It comes at different ages and stages of life. Be encouraged that your leading will help your teens live purpose driven lives.

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Published in The Mother’s Heart magazine, a premium online publication for mothers with hearts in their homes. Visit www.The-Mothers-Heart.com for more information. Along with her husband, Gary, Vivian Padilla-Chapman has been homeschooling her two children, Daniel and Sara since 1991. Daniel just entered Georgia Tech as a President’s Scholar this fall and Sara is a high school junior. Vivian holds a B.A. in Mass Communications and an M.A. in Applied Linguistics from the University of South Florida.