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Jennifer Maggio Christian Blog and Commentary

Act now to share the love of Christ in the Middle East

Jennifer Maggio

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others. 

7 Ways a Single Mom Can Fight Discouragement

  • 2024Mar 13

Mommas, I know there are some of you out there – many of you – who are facing an immense amount of discouragement. The weight of it sits squarely on your chest, sometimes making it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes, this single parenting journey can seem like an impossible task, wrought with difficulty, obstacles, hardships, and criticism. Just when you seem you are getting a little bit ahead, another mountain presents itself for climbing. You run hard, putting out many fires along the way. You are often juggling several balls in the air, and inevitably, drop one – leaving guilt, and too often, discouragement. I know how difficult it can be. I know because I have been there too, more times than I can count. I’ve often felt that I’ve done all I could and it simply wasn’t good enough.  I know the feelings of “Why try? I’m failing anyway.” I know well the feelings of inadequacy, comparison, and exhaustion. Mommas, there is freedom for you. You do not have to live in constant discouragement that it’s too hard or that you’re not doing enough or that you’ll never get it right.  

Here are a few things that have helped me along the way, when I’ve felt pressed from every angle with discouragement: 

Stop comparing yourself to others. Galatians 6:4 says, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” Comparison is a trap we can so easily fall prey to. The more you look at what others’ have and what their circumstances are, the more you will feel discontentment and discouragement in your life. We look at others’ skills, talents, gifts, and accomplishments. We focus on their “today”, often not considering what their “yesterday” may have looked like. Your circumstances will never be the exact same as someone else’s. Comparison will only leave you feeling frustrated and empty. You will never feel content in the season you are in, if you are secretly coveting the season someone else is in. As soon as you stop comparing, you will be able to flourish with what God has given you.  And yes, He has given you much, blessed you plenty, and offered much hope! He is the God of more than enough. He will do exceedingly, abundantly more. Blessings are in plentiful supply, so we don’t have to covet someone else’s.  

Stop agreeing with the lies. I know, I know. It is far easier for us to believe some of the lies the enemy tells us or that the world tells us or that we tell ourselves than it is to believe the truth of what God says about us. The lies are many: It’s never going to get any better than it is in this moment. I’m not a good enough mom, daughter, employee, friend, etc. I’ll never have more than I have right now. No good man would ever want me. I’ll always struggle with this. The only way to battle lies is with the truth, and the truth is God’s word. The beautiful thing about the truth of God’s word is that it is not based on how you feel or even your circumstance. Your truth is based on who God says you are.  Take the time to write down every lie that you have believed about yourself from the enemy, negative self-talk, or words spoken over you. Then, find the Scripture that dispels the life. God calls you his beloved, chosen, daughter.

Stop speaking “death” over your situation. Your words matter. You cannot wallow in death and expect life to birth from it. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue can bring death or life…” Everything you speak must be in alignment with the word of God. This is very, very, very important. Some of us are planting words of death in our backyards. We water it, fertilize it. We nurse it to health. And then, we expect to grow life. Speak encouragement, hope, love. Stand firm on the word of God and decree and declare it over your life and that of your children, despite what you see and despite how you feel. Get good at speaking to your future and not your past. Get good and declaring the things of God over you and your children – even if it feels unnatural at first. Sadly, we’ve practiced speaking words of death over our lives for far too long and we’re often comfortable doing it. Get good at speaking life. Get the Bible out and read it aloud. Hear yourself declaring the goodness of God, the promises of God, and the stories of God’s faithfulness until it becomes habit. 

Remember that God is faithful. If you are facing discouragement right now, please know that God is faithful. Whether you face parenting & financial challenges or recovery from abuse and trauma, our God is faithful. The same God that has rescued you and answered your prayers in the past tough situations is available today. He is working on your behalf. His timing is perfect, and He is faithful in every season. In a moment, He can restore joy and hope in a way that only He could. Encourage yourself by meditating on the faithfulness of God in prior hard seasons. Allow your faith to rise. Encourage yourself with lists of His provision. Did He bring friends to you during a lonely season? Did He bring meals when you were hungry? Did He rain manna from Heaven when there was no money in the checking account? Did He restore your health? Did He set you free from the bondage of addiction, depression, or suicide? Did He bring you a great church family? Our God is faithful. It only takes moments of looking around to see His handywork all around. 

Praise despite your circumstances. Praise shifts the atmosphere. I know mommas. When you are discouraged, the last thing you want to do is go into a church and participate in praise and worship. You likely don’t want to have praise and worship in your home. It can seem futile, or like too great of an effort amid your struggles. How can I raise my hands when my heart is so heavy? How can I praise when the mountain seems so great? Remember, it is in your weakest moments that the enemy pushes you the most. The enemy delights in pushing you away from the church, away from the things of God, away from praising and reading the Word. In the spirit realm, praise begins to shift the atmosphere and discouragement cannot stand. It is imperative that you begin to open your mouths and praise God for His faithfulness in past seasons, and it is even more important to praise Him in advance for what He will do in this next season. Your praise matters. It allows you to fight discouragement well.

Seek God’s plan for your life. Sometimes, our discouragement is rooted in trying to do our own thing without regard to the plan the Lord has for us. We are going to “make it happen” one way or another. This is dangerous. Some of us know how dangerous it is, because we’ve tried to manipulate and control our way into the life we want, rather than following the Lord. When we attempt to control it, it means we can step into new seasons too soon. Perhaps it means we move too quickly or pursue a new relationship too soon or make a move on the new house without asking the Holy Spirit for guidance. When we pause and seek godly wise counsel and likewise seek the Lord in prayer for the Holy Spirit to guide, we move into seasons that have God’s hand of blessings upon them. When we do it ourselves, it can often feel like we’re toiling through quicksand. The more we lean into the plans He has for us, the more we walk in encouragement and hope and optimism. Make choices that honor His plan for your life.  

Shift the way you pray. If we get honest, most of us pray with a list of to-do’s for God. Lord, I need this. Lord if you could just help with that… And of course, this is important. Jesus modeled asking our Heavenly Father for our “daily bread” and “forgiveness” and “deliverance from evil”, so yes, we make requests. But our prayers must also glorify and honor. “You are worthy of all praise, Lord. Thank you for salvation, for freedom, for provision, for redemption. Thank you for my health and my church and friends. Thank you for protection and conviction and wisdom.” Our prayers need to be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving for all the blessings we have, the answered prayers we’ve received, and the gift of eternal life in Christ. I’m reminded of Philippians 4:6-7 that says, “ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  This is our recipe for peace. Don’t worry. Pray about it. Tell the Lord your needs. Thank Him for all his provision.

Single mommas, you are daughters of the most high King. You are royalty, bought with a high price, joint heirs with Christ Jesus. You are bought and paid for by the blood of the Lamb. You are righteous by that blood. Your portion to walk in freedom and encouragement and wholeness and joy. Your portion is to walk in the love of Christ that covers a multitude of sins. If you are praying and seeking the Lord, you are a good mom.   

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others. 

9 Tips to Tackling Difficulties in Parenting

  • 2024Feb 28

Moms, I have been where some of you sit. I’ve been through the times of lacking techniques, realizing no one really taught me how to parent. I’ve been having a teenager failing classes, getting in trouble at school, smoking weed, sexual immorality, dishonoring our family, disrespect. I’ve been through wayward children.  I’ve been through it all. The following tips are truly everything I know and everything the Lord has laid on my heart about parenting in difficult times. 

Watch what you are saying. What is coming from your mouth matters. It matters in the spirit and natural realm. The things we are saying to our children can often be bred from frustration and exhaustion and disappointment. We’re battling the demand of work and school demands and disobedience in the home and spiritual battles. And honestly, we often don’t know what to do and so we begin to speak from those emotions.  Saying whatever we feel in the moment and then coming back to apologize is a terrible parenting strategy.  I have spoken thousands, hundreds of thousands of words of edification over my children – praise, honor, encouragement. I’ve written letters. I’ve praised publicly & privately. But the few times that I have spoken out of discouragement or misspoken over my kids, it is the very thing they remember – even years later.  We are the same way. We tend to remember the harsh words far more clearly than the words of encouragement. This is critical to understand when you are parenting through difficult seasons. What you say matters.  

Create healthy conversations around their father. Do NOT badmouth their father in front of them or even behind their backs to others. Honor that he is their father. They are part of him. Be open to conversations. Do not avoid them or ignore his existence. (Note: My dad ignored my mother’s existence.) Be careful with your words.  Some of you are battling unbelievable situations with fathers who are abusive, addicts, or abandoned the family and have no interest in engaging with their children. I know that. I’ve endured that. I made the mistake, for a long time, of acting as if he didn’t exist, so I wouldn’t say much at all. Then, if questions did come up, I didn’t guard my heart to respond in kindness and compassion and mercy to my children. I responded with an attitude and an eye roll.  It wasn’t until years later that I had walked through forgiveness, realizing his immense brokenness, that I was able to speak not from hurt but from honor.  When they would ask the hard questions, I could say, “I don’t know.  I know your dad loves you in the best way he knows how, but I know his actions have hurt you.”  

Allow your children to endure consequences. If they do not study for the test, let them fail. If they didn’t write the paper, let them fail. If they didn’t research the project, let them fail. If they didn’t practice basketball, let them not make the team. If they are disrespectful to the teacher and get suspended, do not get mad and confront the school. Do not try to fix everything for your children.  Many parents do this for many reasons, certainly not just single moms. But I’m convinced that much of the reason I did this, early on in my parenting, was to create a façade of perfection. I was trying so hard to out-run all the negative statistics and all the naysayers and gossipers, so my proud compelled me to constantly pretend it was much more together than it was. So when you are operating under a façade, there is pressure to keep it all neat and clean to the outside world.  When we do this, we are enabling our children. Consequences build character. If they don’t work hard, they don’t get the reward. If they don’t respect and honor us, they don’t get the reward. If they don’t exhibit integrity, they don’t get the reward.  They must suffer the consequences.  We know that Deut. 28 teaches of the great blessings of obedience and the great curses of disobedience. We must teach our children this.

Teaching your children is not the same as leading your children. Be sure to lead by example. Work on you – your walk with the Lord, your integrity & character, your kindness & patience, your hopes & dreams.  Sometimes, you’ve talked until you are exhausted and at a loss for words. So much of our parenting is their observation of us. It’s not what we’re saying. It’s what we’re doing. 

Offer regular encouragement. When our children are small, it is easy to praise their first words, first steps, and first potty visits. But as they age, it can sometimes be harder to encourage. It seems that we tend to focus on all that is wrong. The dishes aren’t clean. The room isn’t straightened. The C could’ve been a B. The friends aren’t good enough. The mouth is too sassy. Offer regular words of encouragement that edify. Do NOT fake it. Do not say they are doing a great job in this area if they aren’t. Be honest and sincere. Be intentional and mindful. But there are many times that we miss the opportunity to encourage and affirm positive behavior.  Examples can include: “You always make your bed. I want you to know that means a lot to me.”  “You always work hard at basketball. Choosing to work hard is a good character trait.”  “Thank you for picking up the dishes after your friends left last night. I’ve been so tired and that was greatly appreciated.”  

Take them to church. It is probably one of the single best things I did to endure during the hardest times of parenting. We were just always there. We were there when they were mad and didn’t want to go. We were there when they acted like they didn’t hear a word and crossed their arms and were rude. We were there every Sunday. It was a non-negotiable. Here is what I have seen in my adult children.  Even when they were far from God, even when there was no evidence of fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives, they have always found a church home. They keep going back to church. They keep coming back to our home as a safe place and they keep going to church. They likely aren’t going to see church as a place of hope and priority in the future, if you have not made that a place of hope and priority in your home. If you haven’t taken them regularly, put it in place.  

Get to know your kids.  Spend time with them getting to know them. What do they like? What do they want to be? Who are their friends? What do they enjoy doing? Why did they select that movie? I’m not convinced that all of us really know our children. We have the checklists and the duties and the responsibilities and the chores and the grades. But somewhere along the way, I think we stopped getting to know our kids – what makes them tick, who they really are. We get busy with the demands of parenting without being present and intentional.  

Stay the course. Parents, I know it is hard. I know the days are long and sometimes thanks are few. I know that there seems to be little rest for weary souls, but don’t stop praying. Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop implanting wisdom and truth and wise counsel. The Lord will mount you on wings like eagles. He will restore, in due time, so stay the course. When they are adults, they will – I repeat, will – stand and called you blessed. Don’t give up, even when you can’t see the fruit of your labor in this season. You are planting seeds. Do not throw in the towel because you cannot see what is going on beneath the service and it’s just easier to quit and let them do whatever they want. Do not give up because you are tired. Be a good parent. Be a responsible parent. Stick to the boundaries you’ve established in your home. And if you don’t have any, it’s not too late to start now.  

Know your authority.  Stop negotiating with your children. There is certainly a time to adjust boundaries as a child exhibits more responsibility and maturity and as things evolve in your home. But there are too many moms who are being pushovers, allowing their children to bully them, to take captive the home, and to dictate how things are going to go. Sometimes, you don’t take your place in authority because you are tired of fighting and just want some peace. Our kids will never get away from authority – there is authority spiritually, there is authority on their jobs (even if they are entrepreneurs), there is authority through the laws of the land. Our children must learn to honor us as their authority. There is also a component of spiritual authority as the head of your home (until you are married). This means that when you have a teenage son who is now bigger than you who is trashing his room or cussing you out or showing up at any hour of the day or night or whatever – you say calmly but authoritatively – “I will be honored in my home. You will respect the peace of this home. You will respect the boundaries in this home.”  (Note: Be prepared with consequences, loss of phone or other privileges, relocation out of your home when necessary, loss of amenities in the homes.)  I also want to mention the authority you have from a spiritual perspective.  

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others. 

The Reason I Left My Career

  • 2024Feb 14

Like many teenagers, I entered my senior year of high school with a list of big plans to be accomplished after graduation, not the least of which was to run as fast as I could from my small town, leaving it in the dust. I would get my degree, land a big-time job in an even bigger city, probably New York, and I would change the world with my loud, very passionate, never wrong, voice. I would live in a Manhattan apartment and wear a business jacket and high heels to work every day, as I stormed hurriedly down a busy street with a briefcase in tow. Somehow, things didn’t quite work out like I planned.  

Although I graduated high school as valedictorian of my senior class with scholarships to attend colleges around the country, I was secretly pregnant, contemplating what my next moves would be as a young, single mother. That baby was born just a few months later, and after a brief stint of homelessness, I moved into government housing, procured some used furniture, and settled into a life I had assuredly not mapped out. I waitressed full-time during the day at a local pizza place and went to college at night, while juggling the demands of single parenthood, crying babies, and extreme emotional and physical exhaustion.  

Eventually, I landed a job in Corporate America in sales. I quickly learned my company products, working diligently with customers to find a program that would work for them, while attempting to maximize my commission earnings to put food on the table for my children. I began climbing the corporate ladder at a rapid pace, earning multiple awards and promotions along the way, while leaving food stamps and welfare as a distant memory. That job provided many learning opportunities in accounts payable & receivable, hiring & firing, goal setting and achievement, management, sales techniques, and the like. That job moved me from government housing into home ownership as a young single mom. That job is where I met my future husband. I thought surely, I had found my calling in life and that I would one day retire from that corporate job. God had other plans. 

Many years prior, as a young, single mom, who was barely treading water, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, the Lord had given me a vision that I would one day serve other single mothers. I didn’t know how or why, but I felt certain that God could somehow use the mess I found myself in. To be honest, I forgot about that vision for many years. I worked hard in corporate America and attempted to out-run the pain of my past, eventually marrying, and not thinking much about the single parenting years.  

I became pregnant with my third child in 2006 and my husband and I were elated. Admittedly, my prior two pregnancies were wrought with shame, as I birthed two children outside of marriage, often lacking the financial and emotional resources I needed to parent them well. I was riddled with shame and often hid in my apartment alone in those years. Now, many years later, this was my first time to enjoy my pregnancy, all the little things, as my husband held my hand at sonograms, and we labored together in that birthing room. It was a dream come true and a true redemption story from all I had mourned in a prior season. And the birth of that baby changed everything. I stayed home for several weeks post-partum and walked back onto the job I had once loved with tears in my eyes. I didn’t want to leave my newborn child. This was a new feeling for me. I had always been career-oriented and enjoyed the daily grind of goal achievement and long hours. But there was something about leaving that precious little one behind that tore my heart out daily. The job I once loved quickly became a place I hated. After many tears and much discussion with my husband, we made the very hard decision for me to leave. Financially, it made no sense, but I knew God was calling me to leave my job. I didn’t understand why, at the time. 

While some may have panicked about the financial ramifications of that decision, I was overjoyed. I was pushing my newborn around in a stroller in the neighborhood, rocking her to sleep for midday naps, enjoying her first smiles and crawls. All the things I had missed with my first two children, the Lord gave me with my last one. It was during this time of staying at home that I realized the reasons I had left my career. 

The Lord was restoring all that had been lost. All the years of single parenting alone with no one to celebrate my babies’ milestones were hard. Birthing my two oldest children alone was hard. Changing endless diapers alone was hard. Going to work two days after birthing my second child, because I couldn’t afford to not work, was hard. Working two, sometimes three jobs, to make ends meet was hard. The hardest? Well, that was the day I pulled up at my babysitter’s house and my first-born was walking across the yard to my car, when he hadn’t been walking that morning when I dropped him off. I had missed my baby’s first steps! That was hard. And yet, here I was, 13 years later, enjoying those small milestones. The Lord had truly restored my broken heart.  

However, there were other reasons I eventually left that corporate career. One was that my corporate job had become my idol. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it had unknowingly become my source. After all, it was the very job I had landed that allowed me to transition from food stamps into financial security. I had somehow misplaced my loyalty of God’s provision in my life with loyalty to the job that God provided to get me there. I was putting too much trust in my job and not enough in my Savior. My successes led to arrogance and pride and an unintentional thought that I had gotten myself to that level of success – not my God and others. I left that job because I needed it to leave me. It was shaping my character in a way that I wasn’t proud of. 

And finally, I left my career behind, because that career was meant merely for a season. God moves us into different seasons – all with purpose and intentionality. His ebb and flow are ones that only he could orchestrate. His thoughts are far above ours. His ways make little sense to our simple minds.  (See Is. 55:8-9). But as always, he knew what he was doing. My time in corporate America was well-spent. I learned the skills I needed to step into my actual calling – to serve single mothers. I had no way of knowing that many years prior when I huddled on a bathroom floor alone as a young single mom, God was teaching me much. I didn’t know that my eighty-hour work weeks in corporate America were teaching me discipline, or that my skills were being refined to one day launch a national nonprofit that would serve well over one million single moms.

My time in a prior career wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, it was just what I needed for that season. I needed the financial provision the Lord brought through that company. I needed the skills to recruit, hire, and retain good employees. I needed to learn how to manage others, set goals, and effectively budget large sums of money. I made wonderful friendships where we shared many laughs, as we pressed on towards the unachievable goals that corporate leadership set for us. We served many customers who needed our services. And all of it was good – for a season. However, when God moves us into a new season, when his guidance prompts a change of career, it is important that we step out in obedience to the new thing.  

Do you know what I’ve learned in all these years of walking with the Lord? He is always doing a new thing. He is always teaching us something new, revealing a new mystery, sharpening a spiritual gift, refining character, opening a new door of ministry, or budding a new relationship ripe with promise. We must hold every assignment with loose, open hands, ready to freely let it go and pass the baton to others, when God calls us into the new thing.  

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.