Deep within all of our hearts is a longing to be valued at what we do. So it’s easy to understand why we frequently enter into the game of comparison in our minds.

And we all know comparison isn’t something we should do. But let’s face it; we are going to compare. And maybe a little comparison isn’t so bad.

When comparison starts to ruin us though is when we begin feeling like other’s gifts, talents and abilities somehow threaten us.

I saw this the other day in one of my daughter’s…

She was working super hard on a project but there seemed to be another girl who always did everything better than her. And my daughter found herself in a pool of tears of frustration feeling like she’d never measure up to this girl.

Several valuable moments of her day were wasted while she compared her abilities to this girl.

But this isn’t something just young girls wrestle through.

And if we don’t recognize the feeling of being threatened while comparing, the wasted moments can turn into days, then weeks, then months and years.

Yes, there’s a longing to be the best at the things we work hard for.

However, we must somehow accept that in the process of developing our gifts, talents and abilities there is always going to be someone who can do what we do better.

And I believe for every woman who struggles with comparison, there’s a woman deeper within us:

The Un-Threatened Woman 

She is the woman who allows the gifts, talents and abilities of others to inspire her; not conspire against her.

She is the woman who stays in a posture of learning.

She is the woman who consistently cheers others on. 

She is the woman who works hard at whatever she does.

And then one day,

She is the woman who has found her beautiful, unique and powerful rhythm. Her gifts, talents and abilities are able to fully develop because her time has been well spent.

Friend, I want to be this woman. And while I will continue to struggle through comparison, today I won't let feelings of being threatened waste my time. I'm finding such power in this:

“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.” -Hebrews 10:35

What about you?

Do you struggle with not letting comparison threaten you? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments today... 

www.nickikoziarz.com 

https://twitter.com/NickiKoziarz

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A few years ago I had a few big dreams rumbling through my thoughts on a daily basis.

I’m a big believer in dreams and great purposes from God. But I also know that our God is a God of action and movement. Stuff has never just happened for me. So I took the steps appropriate to help those dreams come to be.

But, life.

You understand those words too, right?

But life steps in and has the tendency to sweep those dreams to the place of  “later”, or “one day” and “not now”.

The past few months I’ve wrestled with my dreams and the opportunities I have right now. My dreams and my opportunities have seemed to line up.

But I recently had to walk through some soul-searching and ask myself a few hard questions.

I was presented with two amazing opportunities at once. Both required a new rhythm to life for this mom who has been at home with babies for the past ten years. One opportunity looked a lot like my dreams and the other looked like an exciting twist to life. 

Knowing that there would be no possible way to do both at once, I had to decide.

My decision has involved a lot of growth opportunity… some of which I want to share with you today. Because when facing a hard decision, it seems like a very common God-question to ask is, “How do I know what God wants me to do?”

And the truth is, I’m not sure we will ever 100% know. But perhaps the greater lesson is knowing when God doesn’t want us to do something.

Success is defined differently in each of our eyes. But I’ve seen a beautiful rhythm to life for those who have learned to understand the power of pressing pause.

Pressing pause isn’t wasting time. Pressing pause isn’t putting dreams away. And pressing pause isn’t running from the great purpose God has for us.

Through this process, I've understood its time to press pause on the things I once dreamed of.

Not a fun lesson. Not one many like to understand. But one we must all discover if we truly want to embrace the process of growth.

Through learning to press pause on certain things of life I have understood a powerful truth:

Pressing pause leads us to the season of sowing.  

Jesus frequently taught on the principles of sowing and reaping [ex: John 4:37.] We are such a must-have-it-now culture; I think we like to focus on the reaping portion more than sowing.

But the season of sowing is powerful. And most likely this season is a lot longer than we’d ever think.

Sowing brings a gentle, calm rhythm to the daily chaos of life. It teaches us that every step is important, vital and has potential. Sowing brings us a spirit of patience and peace.

Sowing allows us to see that just because we are not who we want to be doesn’t mean we will never get there.

Pressing Pause. Learning to sow. Embracing this season.

I haven’t found the perfect rhythm to this difficult beat.

But as we learn this sowing-rhythm we are able to inhale the things we need and exhale the things we don’t. Our hearts and minds become more aware of the seeds we are planting each day.

"Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well." -Ecclesiastes 11:6

May we understand the moments we must pause things to learn to sow well.

What does pressing pause look like for you? I'd love to hear... leave a comment and share your thoughts today. 

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Ahh Valentine’s Day. We meet again.

I’ve got this love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day this year. Because wouldn’t you know, I just gave up sugar {again}. And what is Valentine’s Day without some chocolate? :) 

Nevertheless, I will still love this day because it helps me remember the people I need to love well {all year long}.

But especially today, I’ve got my 3-girl crew on my heart...

Sometimes I struggle to know how to love these 3 girls well.

I do the standard “I love you” in the mornings before school and before they go to bed but lately, I’ve felt a stretching on my heart to love them {well}.

So to help celebrate this day of love I’m thinking through 14 ways I’m learning to love my daughters well. And if you’ve got a special girl, or two, or three :) in your life, maybe these ideas will inspire us together.

1. Invest time each day to pray for her.

2. Speak life into her mistakes.

3. Get a new bottle of nail polish and paint your toenails together.

4. Ask her a million questions. [Yes, she’ll roll her eyes and act like you are driving her crazy but she needs this.]

5. Use encouraging words often.

6. Have an awareness of how quickly time is passing. [You’ll put down the phone more, clear your schedule more and take in the moments that are so simple.]

7. Ask her opinion.

8. Help her be creative.

9. Let her find her own rhythm.

[This is how my youngest daughter went to school yesterday. I started to stop her but then… I just let her go. She’s finding her style, and I kind of like it.  :)]

10. Tell her your proud of her every chance you get.

11. Defend her when she needs you to, but step back when she’s got it covered.

12. Teach her how important responsibility is.

13. Show her what friendship is about.

[Invite her friends over often, drive them places. Help her work through conflicts and see the best in her friends.]

14. Thank God for her… every day.

What are some ways you can think of to love our daughters [or sons] better than ever in 2013? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comment section today. 

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Its 3:38 a.m.

I stare at the clock and Something inside me whispers, “You should get up.” I toss, turn, and wrestle with my sleep deprived thoughts for another few minutes before I finally climb out of bed.

I walk downstairs, turn on the coffee pot and sit down in my white chair. Opening my journal I write these words… “God, I miss You.”

The reality is life has been moving at a warping speed lately. Work has been busy for both my husband and I, our 3 girls lives are full, and someone always needs something.

Truth is I would pay a lot of money for 28 hours in a day.

But mostly I’m seeing how “it” happens…

How people move far from God.

And I’ve seen how it’s not always intentional:

-The kids are sick so church is missed.  

-Carpool has to start earlier the next morning.

-Bodies need to be exercised.

-Meals must be prepared.

-Reports and projects have to be finished.

The list goes on and on of what can keep us from the closeness of God.

I understand these struggles all to well. And I’m finding there is a great danger in these stretched seasons of life.

We can miss being with God but through that, we also can also miss the movement God is doing in our lives. Missing God {either way} is tragic and threatening to our souls that long to thrive with God.

Recognizing how much I’ve missed God, I’m taking some time for reflection of this struggle. I’m burdened but also hopeful in the words God is breathing on my soul during these soul-stretching moments.

I share these things because maybe there’s just one other person as fearful as I am of unintentionally moving…too far from God.

3 things we can do to move closer to the heart of God

1.    Find our God-space.

Even if it means at 3:38 a.m.

I’ve discovered in this stretching season of life I have to be intentional with scheduling time with God. Finding the moments of white space where we can fully be with God is important. But, we must also find the God-space in the clouded, busy, stretching moments.

May we find our God-space…everywhere.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you…” –James 48

2. Experience the awe of God.

The sunrise on the way home from the early morning workout or drive into the office…experience it. How the warm sun feels on our skin on a chilly day…experience it. Giggles from children, the way someone we love smiles, the praise of Gods people…experience it.

May these moments remind us what it’s like to be fully alive and connected to Something much bigger than ourselves.

“…stand in awe of God.” –Ecclesiastes 5:7

3.    Have ears that listen {always}.

The prompting in your heart to slow down, to breathe in the moment…listen to it. A nudge on your soul to say no when you really want to say yes…listen to it [or vice-versa.]

May we not want to just dream about the promises God has for our life, but want to live them by listening, always.

“So then faith comes by hearing…” –Romans 10:17

Above all, may today be the day each of us chooses steps closer to…Him.

Amen. 

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