Why isn't this real, truthful, and gracious addendum added to most church services when we discuss a married man's sexual temptations, a man who is usually sitting next to his wife at the time? Because it's outside the box. It's not part of the official script. It doesn't sound "Christian," and it runs the risk of offending a minority of prudish women who desperately need to be offended for their own good and the good of their families. The only minister who I have heard who has worked such thinking into a sermon is T.D. Jakes. I'm sure there's more, but it's safe to say that this important message is not as common as it needs to be--that is if we're serious about men attending church, which I'm not convinced we are.

Spiraling church attendance is what happens when you do not speak to who men really are and what men really need in order to mature spiritually. Perhaps this decline is what happens before a better direction is forged. A Good Guy Rebellion direction.

Let's blaze this new path, each of us in our own way using whatever gifts and resources we have before us today. Be warned that you may gain a few enemies. But unlike in years past when Christian Nice Guys made people mad because they were weak and passive, they will be ruffling feathers because they are good and strong. Jesus said to pray for our enemies. He never said we couldn't (or wouldn't) have any.



Paul Coughlin is the author of No More Christian Nice Guy and a soon to be released companion Study Guide. He and his wife Sandy are the authors of  Married But Not Engaged: Why Men Check Out and What You Can Do to Create The Intimacy You Desire, due out in July from Bethany House. Visit him online at www.christianniceguy.com