As for the rest of the story, well, it plays out in totally predictable fashion. Basically if you’ve ever watched a movie before or even (gasp!) read a book, you’ll know exactly how the plot plays out beat for beat. Truth be told, the only real surprises in Rock of Ages is how low the writers are willing to stoop for a laugh.

That’s not to say that Rock of Ages doesn’t have its funny moments, particularly if you’re a child of the ‘80s. But if you’re contemplating the best way to beat the heat for two hours this summer, the film’s nostalgic factor and some decent performances from the leads are about all Rock of Ages has working in its favor. Good taste, meanwhile, is in dangerously short supply.

CAUTIONS:

  • Drugs/Alcohol: No drug use, which is surprising in a movie about rock ’n’ roll, but social drinking is plentiful throughout. Stacee Jaxx is seldom without a bottle of scotch and drinks heavily throughout.
  • Language/Profanity: All the usual suspects are used throughout, including one “f” word and several instances where God’s and Jesus’ names are misused. There’s also rude scatological humor, plus a middle finger is also extended on a couple of occasions.
  • Sex/Nudity: Rock of Ages is heavy on the sex—and sexual innuendos. Stacee always tends to wake up with three or four scantily clad women lying on top of him. In one scene, he’s wearing pants with the backside mostly missing. The camera zooms in on his codpiece repeatedly. There are two rather crass sex scenes involving Stacee and Constance (one involving the simulation of oral sex on Constance [Malin Akerman]), and she eventually winds up pregnant by film’s end. Patricia Whitmore’s (Catherine Zeta-Jones) high-profile politician husband is cheating on her, and we see him and his mistress in the heat of passion on two occasions (one takes place in a church’s back room while his wife is in the nearby sanctuary). In one scene, Mr. Whitmore’s (Bryan Cranston) mistress pulls down his pants and slaps him repeatedly on his backside with a stick. In flashbacks, we see that Drew and Sherrie also slept together (she’s shown in her bra and panties). There are also several scenes in a strip club where we see the girls, including Sherrie at one point, working the poles in very skimpy attire. Men regularly slap the girls' backsides and make inappropriate comments as they work. Stacee has a thing for randomly grabbing women’s breasts (we see him grope Sherrie’s and a couple of other women’s as well) and kissing with lots of extra tongue-licking (yeah, it’s as gross as it sounds). Dennis and Lonny (Russell Brand) apparently have unrequited romantic feelings for each other and make several flirty gestures toward each other that eventually result in a kiss.
  • Violence: Scotch bottles are thrown at people. Stacee urinates on his manager. Picketers are harassed.
     

Christa Banister is a full-time freelancer writer, specializing in music, movies and books-related reviews and interviews and is the author of two novels, Around the World in 80 Dates and Blessed Are the Meddlers. Based in Dallas, Texas, she also weighs in on various aspects of pop culture on her personal blogFor more information, including her upcoming book signings and sample chapters of her novels, check out her Website.