DVD Release Date: January 29, 2013
Theatrical Release Date: September 28, 2012
Rating: PG for some rude humor, action and scary images
Genre: Comedy
Run Time: 91 min.
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Cast: Voices of Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, David Spade, CeeLo Green, Jon Lovitz

Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania. According to the movie's tagline, it's where monsters go "to get away from it all." But what about humans who pay to see this substandard animated tale? With due respect to the Eagles, are we allowed to "check out anytime we like?"

Comedian and actor Adam Sandler (That's My Boy) has teamed up with writer Robert Smigel for an animated tale about Dracula as an overprotective vampire daddy to his daughter Mavis, who’s reached an age where she wants to spread her bat wings and fly.

Single dad Drac (voiced by Sandler) is devoted to Mavis (Selena Gomez, Ramona and Beezus), having promised her deceased mommy that he'd always protect their daughter. He sings her vampire lullabies and reads her stories that instill within her a fear of the vampires' great enemy: human beings.

Vampires aren't the only monsters afraid of humans. Since 1898, Dracula has provided a refuge for creatures that run afoul of human beings. He calls his abode Hotel Transylvania, where the residents include Frankenstein's monster (Kevin James, Zookeeper), a mummy (CeeLo Green, Sparkle), an invisible man (David Spade, Grown Ups) and a wolf-man (Steve Buscemi, Youth in Revolt). Jokes about the wolf’s taste for sheep, Frankenstein’s fear of fire, and the Invisible Man’s not-always-invisible backside pepper the storyline.

Unfortunately, Hotel Transylvania never rises above the quality of a Motel 6. If you were looking for the Waldorf Astoria of film, try another movie.

The plot involves a birthday celebration for Mavis. She's turning 118—remember, she's a vampire—and she's finally ready to get out of the castle and see the world. But her dad isn’t ready to let her go, despite earlier promises of more freedom once she's "old enough to drive a hearse."

What could she want outside the hotel's walls, Dracula asks her? He reminds her to be afraid, very afraid, of what lies beyond their home. She’s grown up in a "refuge from them"—the dreaded humans. They’re no good. Even their blood is "too fatty" for Dracula ("You never know where it’s been!").

Dracula’s scare tactics are put to the test when a hiker named Jonathan (Andy Samberg, Friends with Benefits) pays a visit to the castle. Needless to say, it’s only a matter of time before Mavis's (and everyone's) preconceptions of humans are challenged by Jonathan’s clumsy charm and winning personality.