The film presents this as comedy. It’s not. It’s just stupid, as is the basic premise. I mean, how is this woman even a teacher to begin with? How did she get her job? Even more curious, if she’s just biding her time until some desired marital payday then why is she wasting it doing this?! If you’re looking for rich men, the public school system is one of the last places you’d look, let alone spend nine months of your year. It’s brainless, even for a bimbo.

Very late attempts are made to “redeem” Elizabeth, but even those offend, namely when she gives her bra to the class loser so that he can waive it around his friends claiming he “made it” with a high schooler. Now all his geeky shame is washed away in the deceptive glow of being perceived as sexually active. And to top it off, the one “cool” teacher commends her action, saying genuinely, “That was a good thing you did.”

Basically what we have here is an escalating confluence of immoral conduct that we’re either supposed to find funny or even root for, capped off by an extended scene of simulated sex between Diaz and Justin Timberlake that, even as they are fully clothed, plumbs the depths of crudity. It’s an absolute embarrassment.

Bad comedy. Bad morals. Bad acting. Bad writing. Bad directing. Bad Teacher is pretty much bad everything.

CAUTIONS:

  • Drugs/Alcohol Content: Several instances of smoking marijuana, including in front of a student, and one with teachers passing around a joint. Bong hits. Diaz drinks whiskey in class. Another scene of getting drunk at a bar, and putting a roofie in a guy’s drink.
  • Language/Profanity: S-word and f-word (and variations of it) said throughout, as are most other common profanities—a-word, b-word, h-word, d-word, etc.—several times said to kids. Diaz also uses frank sexual terms and profanities with some students, including the f-word. The Lord’s name is taken in vain on a few occasions, through multiple expressions. Variations of the “f-word” for homosexual are used.
  • Sexual Content/Nudity: Strong sexual content, pervasively in language but also visually. Bare breasts are seen and fondled at a plastic surgeon’s office. Crude sexual terms for “breast”. Suck used as a sexual term. F-word used as a sexual reference and expression. The term “hard” is used. A big bulge in a young teen boy’s pants is clearly an erection. Explicit sexual slang for both men and women’s sexual organs. The cover of a porn magazine is seen as it is taken from a student. Cameron Diaz performs sexually provocative moves while dressed in short Daisy Dukes and a small shirt, during a student car wash (also getting wet during the process). Various lewd, sexually graphic phrases are used. A near-naked man in photos. A man makes a crude sexual gesture with his mouth. Diaz takes off her bra underneath her shirt and gives it to a student, and tells him to brag to other students about having been sexually active with another student. Extended scene of simulated sex; the couple is fully clothed, but there are a variety of actions and positions and expressions that are pornographic and illicit in nature (and also includes dirty sexual talk).
  • Violence: Diaz throws a dodgeball at several students, hurting them.