DVD Release Date: August 27, 2013
Theatrical Release Date: April 26, 2013
Rating: R (bloody violence, crude sexual content, nudity, language throughout and drug use)
Genre: Action/True Crime
Run Time: 130 min.
Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong

"It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense." ~Mark Twain

Although the budget is only a fraction of what a Michael Bay production usually is (only $25 million!), and the robots-in-disguise have been replaced with actual living, breathing humans, Pain & Gain is exactly what you’d expect from a director whose filmography includes the Transformers franchise, Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys—and that’s not saying much.

A story so bizarre it couldn’t possibly be made up, Pain & Gain is the ripped-from-the-headlines account of Miami mobsters who don’t fit the traditional profile. Known as the Sun Gym Gang, they’re lead by a lunkhead named Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg, Ted). A personal trainer who believes he’s been duped by America’s promise of riches to anyone who works hard enough, his get-rich-quick schemes have landed him in serious hot water in the past.

Of course, this doesn’t prevent him from cooking up a brand new scam because, despite his enviable muscle tone, he wholeheartedly believes he’s been made for more than simply boosting the confidence of people who’ll never attain his level of physical perfection.

Fueled by the words of motivational speaker Johnny Wu (the always-amusing Ken Jeong, Hangover II), Daniel is determined to be a man of action, a "doer." Rounding up a couple of equally meat-headed recruits, namely Adrian, a fellow gym rat preoccupied with steroids and how they’ve wrecked his love life (Anthony Mackie, Real Steel) and an ex-con, Paul (Dwayne Johnson, G.I. Joe: Retaliation) who found Jesus in prison and has vowed never to kill again, Daniel has decided they’re modern-day Robin Hoods... with a twist.

Instead of stealing from the rich to help the poor, they’re going to kidnap Lugo’s wealthiest client and torture him until he surrenders every worldly possession to help their cause. Not surprisingly, these guys end up sharing more in common with the Three Stooges than anyone from The Godfather, despite Daniel’s incessant boasts about how many movies he’s seen. From the cartoonish costumes they choose as disguises to their baffling lack of attention to detail (targeting the wrong car in a shopping center parking lot, for instance), it doesn’t take superhuman intelligence to figure out what happens next.