But with Stiller, Vaughn and Hill on tap, it’s no surprise that the movie chooses comedy. That decision wouldn’t be difficult to justify had the film scored a sufficient number of laughs. Instead, the comic performers are reduced to reaction shots and surprised exclamations of “What the f--k?!” (or variations thereof) over and over again. If that’s your idea of a good time, then The Watch is the movie for you.

The film’s finale revolves around activities in the home of Evan’s suspicious new neighbor. No, he’s not a murderer, but the host of a local orgy at which some of Evan’s friends choose to partake. The film culminates with a big battle between invading aliens and the vastly outnumbered neighborhood watch group. Guess who triumphs?

The Watch, which was co-written by another popular screen comedian, Seth Rogen, ends up more depressing than amusing. If this is the best that Rogen, Stiller, Vaughn and Hill can come up with, the future of movie comedy should be left to others.

The aliens? They were actually pretty cool. Maybe next time, the aliens should write the film. Perhaps they have a higher-minded sense of humor.

CAUTIONS:

  • Language/Profanity: Lord’s name taken in vain; steady use of foul language throughout, including numerous uses of the “f”-word; explicit references to sex acts and to bodily fluids; a dad and his daughter cuss at each other
  • Alcohol/Smoking/Drugs: Drinking and smoking; a character says he “has weed in [his] pocket”
  • Sex/Nudity: Women in bikinis; a dad suspects his daughter is sleeping with a classmate, and he tells her, “Sex is for love”; a series of frat-boy style photos; an orgy includes several couples engaged in sex and implied masturbation; bare breasts; Evan’s wife engages in sexual role-playing; pornographic magazine covers; a man kisses a married woman
  • Violence/Crime: Guns are brandished and fired; a guard is killed by an unseen alien, and we see blood splatter against a window; a man’s hollowed out corpse is shown; a character slices open his palm; a stash of guns is revealed; a heart is inserted back into a character’s body in hopes of resuscitation; a weapon causes huge explosions; a man is stabbed from behind by an alien
  • Marriage: Evan’s marriage is strained by the couple’s inability to conceive 

Questions? Comments? Contact the writer at crosswalkchristian@hotmail.com.

Publication date: July 27, 2012