Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
--1 Peter 3:7
According to God’s plan for marriage, the husband has two major responsibilities.
First, according to today’s verse, the husband must understand his wife. Now, to understand our wives means to honor them.
What a vivid description of love—to honor. If you are wondering how to show honor, think of it like this. To honor your wife means to see her as a treasure, to hold her dear, and to cherish her as a precious gift.
Husbands, do you love your wife like that? Do you see her as a gift from God?
This verse also refers to understanding your wife’s needs. Gary Smalley, a noted Christian counselor and marriage expert, lists these nine specific needs.
• Needs to feel that she is first place in her husband’s life.
• Needs to feel that her husband is willing to share an intimate moment of comfort without demanding explanation or giving lectures.
• Needs constant communication.
• Longs to be praised so she can feel valuable.
• Wants to feel free to correct her husband without fear of retaliation or anger.
• Needs to know that her husband will defend and protect her.
• Wants to know that her opinion is so valuable that her husband will discuss decisions with her, evaluate her advice, and then act upon it.
• Needs to share her life with her husband in every area—home, family, and outside interests.
• Wants her husband to be the kind of man her son can follow and her daughter would want to marry.
Secondly, a husband is to undergird his wife with emotional, spiritual and physical support. Why? Because we share the love and grace of God, hand in hand. And we should see each other through the eyes of grace… as God sees us.