Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."
(please read vv. 1-5 again)
You'll only really understand yourself when you have a personal encounter with God!
Isaiah's immediate response to his personal encounter with God wasn't great joy, excitement and vigor. No, Isaiah was devastated. He'd thought quite well of himself. He had a good self-image.
But suddenly that self-image was shattered by his exposure to God. In the face of God's presence, holiness and glory, Isaiah suddenly realized that he wasn't the center of his own existence, that his sense of his own goodness was a delusion in the face of God's holiness. Here was this unfallen, perfect angel covering his face in the presence of God. What hope did Isaiah have?
Isaiah fell before his great God a broken man, aware of his weaknesses, failings and sins. That is just where he needed to be; it was where God wanted him. That brokenness was God's goal in Isaiah's life.
It is God's goal in your life too. Brokenness comes first; anointing comes later. Tears come first; joy comes later. Confession comes first; healing comes later. God comes first; then He makes you what you need to be. But you'll never find that brokenness until you encounter God Himself.