Moments Together for Couples 12/22

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Proverbs 11:22
As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.

I think we wives need to give our husbands some grace...to not know how a woman feels, or how we function and operate as the other sex. I used to think, Why doesn't Dennis just understand what I'm going through? Why doesn't he do things the way I want them done? But I had to learn that he doesn't automatically know where I am emotionally, or what I expect in different situations, unless I tell him. And if I come across as judgmental, he'll get defensive. I need to bestow some grace.

I laugh thinking about one morning. I needed to leave about the same time the kids had to be out the door. I said to Dennis, "I really need your help this morning. Could you make breakfast for everybody?"

Now I was thinking he would do it like I did-prepare the meal, call the girls in and say "Here's your plate, do you want juice?" I'm real involved in serving them breakfast and talking to them.

Well, Dennis fixed them toast while watching the morning news on television. He fixed about 10 slices of toast, stacked them on a plate, and laid them on the table. When the kids got in the car they hadn't eaten. I said, "Why didn't you eat?" They said, "Where was the food?" Dennis assumed since the food was out, they would find it.

As I walked back in the house I realized Dennis's burden isn't the same as mine. I'm involved on an emotional level with the kids during breakfast, while he just wanted to complete the task while gearing up for a day at the office. He did what I asked. He just didn't do it like I would have.

I decided that I needed to give him some grace.

Prayer:

Ask the Lord to help you understand that your spouse may do things differently than you, and give grace instead of condemnation.

Discuss: How have you been at communicating your feelings to your mate lately? Are you bestowing grace?

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