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Moments Together for Couples 7/6
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
A friend recently showed me a Hallmark card with these words beautifully scripted on the outside: If you love something, set it free. If it returns, you haven't lost it. If it disappears and never comes back, then it wasn't truly yours to begin with. Inside, the words continued: and if it just sits there watching television unaware that it's been set free, you probably already married it.
Cute words like that bring a smile to my face. But there are other words that can bring pain, guilt and shame. As Proverbs says, your remarks, your words, can bring life or death.
As a young lad, I recall going with my dad to the ice house to get block ice for making homemade ice cream. The iceman knew exactly how to use his pick to strike the ice and break off a smaller block of just the right size.
In the family, your tongue can be like an ice pick chipping away at another's self-worth and character. I've counseled people who knew their mates' weak spots and, in a stressful moment, would use words to purposely hack, slice and cut their partners.
But the tongue can also be used as beautifully as a paintbrush. Years ago, before we started our family, Barbara amazed me with her ability to paint in ways that would cause a beautiful picture to emerge on a previously blank canvas. In a similar way, your words can encourage the image of Christ to appear in the lives of each member of your family. You can elicit the beauty in a person with words of respect and kindness.
If appropriate, confess any words that you have used to tear down your spouse or family. Ask God to empower you to use your tongue to build up your spouse and each family member.
Discuss: What are some words that had a positive influence on you as you grew up? Negative? In what areas or circumstances do you need to watch the words you say to your mate? To your children?
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