Fathers: The Greatest Influence
- Thursday, June 15, 2006
I am afraid that our culture in general and subsequently too many fathers themselves have reduced the role of fatherhood to something nonessential or unnecessary. Many men today regard parenting as being primarily the mother's role and somehow no longer associated with masculinity or "real" manhood.
Instead they have bought into modern cultural caricatures along with [radically] feminist psychology and its label of "hunter-gatherer" and thus assume this to be their primary and sometimes only contribution to the family. As a result too many men, including professing Christian men, express their role as "father" exclusively in terms of financial provider. The fact is children are not looking for financial provision; they are looking for love, guidance and a role model for what it means to be a man.
During the Colonial period in America men defined themselves by their level of community involvement and fatherhood. Marriage and fatherhood were seen as being among the highest aspirations in a man's life, namely because that generation was less individualistic and self-centered. Today the highest aspirations of men seem to be career success and personal leisure and against these they seek to "balance" marriage and family.
The lack of actively involved fathers is producing societal conditions necessary for the intervention of government. It is a sobering fact when the government is forced to respond to the failure of such a fundamental institution as family! In 2001 the US Department of Health & Human Services launched its "Fatherhood Initiative" with this statement:
"The President is determined to make committed, responsible fatherhood a national priority... [T]he presence of two committed, involved parents contributes directly to better school performance, reduced substance abuse, less crime and delinquency, fewer emotional and other behavioral problems, less risk of abuse or neglect, and lower risk of teen suicide. The research is clear: fathers factor significantly in the lives of their children. There is simply no substitute for the love, involvement, and commitment of a responsible father."
While the research does indeed show that paternal absence (whether it is physical or practical) is a significant contributing factor in almost every category of societal ill my concern here is the spiritual effect.
A rather obscure but important study conducted by the Swiss government in 1994 and published in 2000 revealed some astonishing facts with regard to the generational transmission of faith and religious values. In short the study reveals that "It is the religious practice of the father of the family that, above all, determines the future attendance at or absence from church of the children."
The study reported:
"If both father and mother attend regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly. Only a quarter of their children will end up not practicing at all.
If the father is irregular and mother regular, only 3 percent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, while a further 59 percent will become irregulars. Thirty-eight percent will be lost.
If the father is non-practicing and mother regular, only 2 percent of children will become regular worshippers, and 37 percent will attend irregularly. Over 60 percent of their children will be lost completely to the church!"
Let us look at the figures the other way round. What happens if the father is regular but the mother irregular or non-practicing? Extraordinarily, the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 percent to 38 percent with the irregular mother and to 44 percent with the non-practicing, as if loyalty to father's commitment grows in proportion to mother's laxity or indifference to religion.
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