A Love Letter to My Body
- Friday, July 20, 2012
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...?" 1 Corinthians 6:19
"How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves." Song of Solomon 1:15
On July 18th 2012, SheLoves Magazine organized a syncroblog project, inviting women to write a love letter to their bodies. This project inspired and encouraged women everywhere to remember their worth and the beauty which God created. Below is one of the many letters that was submitted. Let her words encourage you to remember that your loving Creator has made you beautiful, and does not make mistakes.
To the body that belongs to Lauren Nicole: I do call this a love letter, and it is one of love. The problem is, I’m not even at the place where I can tell you why I love you so much yet. I have too much to say I’m sorry for. So, as love requires, an apology:
I need to apologize.
If you were a friend, you would have left this relationship long ago. And honestly? I would have understood. I never say my thanks, I never say I love you, and every gift I’ve given you was just because I wanted to make me to look better. Not because I cared about you. I’ve been so unforgivably selfish.
If you were a lover, even the truest of the true, you would have given up on me. I can’t remember the last time I valued you for who you are. On my bad days – and there have been lots of them, you know – I assaulted you. I told you how disappointed I was in you. I listed all the things I hated about you. I made sure to hide you from certain people, because I was embarrassed to be seen with you. I judged you. I stood in front of the mirror and made sure you knew exactly why I hated you so much. And on my good days? Our good days? I was content to tell you I wished that I had better – but that you would have to do for now.
Now that I think about it, I’ve never treated anyone worse than I have you.
Now that I think about it, I’m sorry doesn’t seem to cut it. But I’m going to try. I’m going to finally say everything I should have said long ago.
I’m sorry I’ve treated you like a burden, instead of a gift.
I’m sorry I’ve verbalized every single flaw, instead of finding joy in all of your perfection.
I’m sorry I’ve compared you to every woman I’ve seen, instead of making sure you knew you were loved.
I’m sorry for never thinking you were good enough.
I'm sorry for not defending you to others, and talking bad about you to my closest friends.
I’m sorry for hushing what you’ve wanted, and silencing every valuable thing you’ve wanted me to know.
I’m sorry that I made you an enemy, instead of an ally.
But most of all, I’m sorry that it’s taken me twenty four years to realize that we’re stuck together forever. Twenty four years to ever realize I need to say I’m sorry.
Maybe I need to apologize to each tiny piece of you. You’re so intricate and delicate, you know? I know. I know you so well. and I know every tiny piece has been so badly hurt by me.
I’m sorry, feet, for hiding you. It’s been embarrassing how you turn purple sometimes. The kids used to make fun of you, and it hurt my feelings.
I’m sorry, legs, for always telling you that you’re the only thing i’ve got going for me. That’s a lot of weight to carry, and I know I’m setting us up for failure.
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