Why Did I Have to Hurt Like This? Reshaping Your Understanding of God
- Friday, August 17, 2012
Even if your wounds aren't as intense as Sharon's it does not make them any less painful to you. So I want to encourage you to take some of the steps Sharon took to find what she ultimately found – perfect love from a good and caring God, peace and contentment from the pain and confusion, and the real transformation that comes from being willing to say, "God, I trust who You are and believe You will make me into the person You want me to be."
Sharon's process of healing looked like this:
1. List what’s still lingering inside of you
Sharon began recording in journals the events in life that she remembered had caused her pain. It was a way she processed through it...not in an attempt to understand it, but as a way of getting it out. As she “got it out by writing it out” onto paper, it was as if God was stripping the pain out of her heart at the same time and putting it somewhere else.
If this is something you’re ready to do, take time, perhaps every morning, to sit and just write in a journal what God leads you to write – memories that still plague you, offenses that come to mind now and then, what you’d like to forget, but can’t seem to. As you write them out, tell God you want them out of your heart and mind as well. Release the power that they might have on you by recognizing that God’s power is even stronger to redeem them into something good.
2. Look to Scripture to reshape your understanding of God
What have you believed about God that isn’t true? Have you believed He is Someone who has punished you through the pain in your life? Someone who judges you and waits for you to mess up? Someone who is aloof and doesn’t really care? Or, do you rightfully believe He is Someone who is intimately acquainted with all your ways and loves you beyond reason?
Go to the Scriptures with an open mind to receive the truth of Who God says He is. As you let the Word of God replace the lies, you can begin to live and operate in the truth. A good place to start is in the Psalms – the Bible's songbook, written by many who felt the same way you might be feeling right now.
3. Let God examine you and show you what needs to go
Sharon says before she started writing things down “Everything in me was empty and God had to rebuild this woman.” But, she said, “Those are the moments I cherished more than anything – those moments when I said ‘God, just work on me. I don’t need a man in my life. I don’t need certain blessings, I just need You to make me clean.’”
A large part of Sharon's healing process involved praying to the true God of the Scriptures and asking Him to heal her in every way, using Psalm 139:23-24 as a guide:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting."
"My goal was for God to search me and strip out everything in me that was not good, that was damaged, that was wounded."
Sharon is whole today because she sought the true God of the Scriptures and asked Him to apply to her the cleansing power of His Word. She didn't assume she was beyond repair. Nor did she assume she was well enough to function on her own. She wanted to be whole and complete in God's eyes.
"The reason I have a life today and I can breathe is because at every turn I asked God to make me well. If I couldn't get well, I couldn't touch anybody; I couldn't minister to anybody, I couldn't help anybody."
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