Alter Your Attitude to Change Your Circumstances
- Thursday, April 15, 2010
Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." Joan and Kathy bring Henry Ford's words to life. Joan thought she couldn't complete the task, and she didn't; Kathy thought she could, and she did. They both were right about the outcome. Each of the women shaped their attitudes-and their eventual results-by the messages they told themselves as they were in the midst of the experience. During all of our waking hours, we have a continuous stream of "self-talk" going on in our minds. It happens automatically, and we are usually not even aware that we are doing it.
Our self-talk interprets our experiences, which in turn shapes our attitudes. Joan's self-talk had been a litany of "I won't be able to find anyone to talk to...no one wants to meet with me...this didn't work before and it won't work now...I'll never be able to do this." No wonder she gave up! From the perspective she had created with her self-talk, it would be a waste of time and energy to continue on with an impossible task.
Kathy, on the other hand, was optimistic that she would succeed. The messages she mentally reinforced were things like "I know this is challenging, so I'll just have to keep at it...I need to be resourceful to connect with people...it will be great to talk to people in the field...I can do this." Her self-talk created a positive "frame" through which she viewed her experiences. The first seven people she talked to had no helpful leads for her. Instead of interpreting this to mean, "I'll never find anyone to talk to," she framed it as "I'll have to work harder to find contacts."
Reframing Your Experiences
Taking charge of your attitude often means that you have to "re-frame" experiences. Reframing is changing the way you look at an experience. Joan viewed her experiences through the frame of "It will never work, so there's no point in trying." Had she instead been seeing the unreturned phone calls through a frame of "I may have to work at this awhile before I succeed," she would have called back or contacted additional people. A negative frame on our experiences and life will hold us back, while a positive frame will motivate us to keep going until we accomplish our goals.
A positive frame on life doesn't "just happen," however. We have to create it intentionally on a daily basis. Developing a positive, optimistic attitude is challenging. We have to work at monitoring and changing our self-talk, and may have to re-frame how we see ourselves as well our perceptions of past, present and future events in our lives. We do have the power to change our lives by changing our thinking.
Each of us is the most limiting factor in our own lives. We will only attempt what we believe is possible. What we do in our lives-or don't do-is a reflection not only of our self-image but also of our faith in God. Shallow faith produces limited results; deep faith produces miracles. No matter what has happened in the past or what weaknesses we may have, God is greater. Neither our past nor our present hampers God. The opinions and perspective of the other people in our lives do not affect or limit God. He can transform and empower you to accomplish everything he calls you to do.
Calling Catalysts for Taking Charge of Your Attitude
More than anything else, your attitude-how you think-will impact how far you go in discovering and living your calling. Our book, Live Your Calling, contains several "calling catalyst" strategies to help you enlarge your faith, change your thinking and live your calling. Here are two of them:
Exchange limiting "self-talk" and "frames" for motivating messages and positive views on life. We choose how we think and see the world. The Apostle Paul illustrates this truth when he exhorts us to choose to rejoice always; to pray with thanksgiving rather than choose to be anxious; and to choose to think about things that are excellent or praiseworthy (Phil. 4:4-9). Ultimately, the power to think positively comes from having faith in the One with whom all things are possible (Phil. 4:13).
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