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Joelle White and Maura Light - Christian Homeschooling, Home Education

The Homeschool Moms who Can't Do Everything

  • Joelle White and Maura Light
  • 2004 4 Apr
  • COMMENTS
The Homeschool Moms who Can't Do Everything

Sung to the tune of Veggie Tales "The Pirates who Don't Do Anything."

All 3 Moms:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything We just stay at
home and plan a lot And if you ask us to do everything We'll just tell
you We can't do everything

Mom2:
Well, I've never been to Boston and I've never shot a musket, and I've
never built a cabin using nothing but an axe, and I've never skinned a
possum, and I've never staged a battle, and I've never started home
school before fall!

All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything We just stay at
home and plan a lot And if you ask us to do everything We'll just tell
you...

Mom3:
We can't do everything!

And I've never distilled water, and I've never banded birdies, and
I've never built an ant farm 'cuz I can't stand things that crawl, and
I've never dug a fossil, and I've never owned a test tube, and I've
never started home school before fall!

All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything We just stay at
home and plan a lot And if you ask us to do everything We'll just tell
you We can't do everything

Mom1:
And I've never slaughtered chickens, and I've never milked a go-oat,
and I've never gone to 4-H or the local county fair, and I've never
sewn a jumper, and I don't look good in denim, and I've never started
home school before fall!

Mom2:
Huh? What are you talking about? What's a milk goat and denim
jumpers got to do with being a home school mom?

Mom3:
Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about academic-y
things!

Mom1:
Oh...

Mom2:
And who ever sews school uniforms? That's impossible! Why even
bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?

Mom3:
I think you should do your laundry.

Mom2:
Huh? Why do you think that?

Mom3:
You should...

Mom2:
Don't wanna!

Mom3:
You wore that shirt yesterday!

Mom2:
That's it, you're going to help me!

Mom3:
Says who?

Mom2:
Says ME, that's who!

Mom3:
Oh yeah? Well I'm not picking up your socks! (pinches her own
nose)

Mom2:
Argh!

Mom3:
Yike!

Mom1:
And I've never done gymnastics, and I've never danced the polka, and
I've never painted daisies 'cause I cannot paint at all, and I've
never made a schedule, and my house is never perfect...

Mom2:
It'll never happen!

All:
And we've never started home school before fall!

We are the home school moms who can't do everything We just stay at
home and plan a lot And if you ask us to do everything We'll just tell
you We can't do everything

Mom2:
Pass the pencils! Who's got the teacher's guide?

Mom1:
Here it is! (holds up shredded paper)

Mom3:
(groans, then smiles with sudden inspiration) Time for recess!

Mom2:
It's definitely time for Scotch tape.

Mom3:
Oh, I don't like that stuff...

Mom1:
Hey, look! I found a crayon!

(Unknown author)