It has become a firm conviction of mine that women were designed by God to be amazing helpers. I mean, we really are amazing helpers. There is something about women that I find awe-inspiring and fascinating. How we can be single-mindedly devoted to nurturing, assisting, planning, or caring. How weird instincts kick in when somebody is bleeding or hungry or crying. And obviously not every woman has all of these things cultivated beautifully. I myself am certainly in the midst of learning how to be a woman. But basically for every sort of man, there is a sort of woman that is a magnificent helper for him. I have found the man I am supposed to help. He has found the woman he is supposed to love. Neither of us take that responsibility lightly.

I suppose my current conclusion on the roles of husbands and wives is that their mandates really are strikingly similar when you get down to brass tacks and examine context: Reflect Christ. God made women in such a way that it will be easier in some ways to be the ones subjecting. Having a mandate to submit also gives us necessary reminders of how Christ is our head and we have to daily submit to his will. God made men in such a way that they are ready to tackle the adventure of loving, and having the responsibility for the family decisions reminds them of how Christ cares for us, and to soberly approach any decisions they make.

I’m okay with men and women being different. But in this matter I think we really have the same calling: to be Christ’s love to our spouses. To always be willing to concede, give up, or make the sacrifice. We are just bad at doing that. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be writing endless articles (like this one!) about what Paul has to say about God’s heart for marriage. But God calls us to be better than we are. Which is exciting for me. Because that means He believes in me, and that He’s willing to help me, and He wants to make my marriage into Something that Looks Like Him.

Debbie Wright is Assistant Editor for Family Content at Crosswalk. She lives in Glen Allen, Virginia and is an avid writer, reader, and participant in local community theatre.

Publication Date: July 2, 2012