Can a Second Marriage Last?
- Wednesday, January 18, 2006
He who desires to see the living God
face-to-face should not seek him
in the empty, firmament of his mind,
but in human love.
~ Fyodor Dostoevsky
When a remarriage is permanent, you can’t just "give up" on it.
Walking through central Philadelphia a few years ago, we encountered homeless people living in cardboard boxes: big- screen-TV boxes, refrigerator boxes, all sorts of large boxes. As the icy winter winds sliced through downtown, people slept on the sidewalks, surrounded only by their flimsy cardboard shacks.
Chances are if you’re reading this, you’ve got a much better bed to sleep in tonight and a much finer roof over your head. But what if your home was a large cardboard box? And more to the point, what if you knew for certain this very same cardboard box was the only home you would ever have as long as you lived?
With no hope of moving to an urban loft or a trendy condo, how would you react? Human nature suggests one thing: You’d do everything in your power to make that cardboard box as cozy, comfortable, warm, dry, and safe as you possibly could.
You would do everything imaginable. You’d get carpet scraps or an old rug to line the floor. You’d find some fabric and insulate the walls. To make it yours, you would decorate with paint, chalk, or any available medium. One way or another, you’d make that box into a place called "home.’
You’d give it your very best since after all, you’d be stuck in that box for the rest of your life. You’d upgrade, redecorate, and refurbish it every chance you got—you’d want it to be as good as it could possibly be.
That’s what you do when you’re "stuck" with something forever.
Now, Think Beyond the Box!
This book begins where you’re already living — and explores how to move forward from that point. Whether this is your second marriage or your fifth, we are here to help you make your current marriage your "last" one — the one that lasts. As this happens, new patterns that honor God will be established, patterns that point effectively to His redemption and His grace.
If you or your spouse were divorced before entering your current marriage, we are here to help you succeed and "go the distance" in your relationship — to help you and your current spouse grow together in mature, lasting, and committed love.
[If you have not remarried, prayerfully consider the challenges you’ll be facing in a remarriage environment. There are a lot of compelling reasons to remain single as you raise your children. Though difficult, being a single parent may be God’s best plan for you and your family.]
When you regard your remarriage as permanent and irreversible, several important changes begin to take root in your relationship. Each of these helps to build a strong positive value into your life, replacing negative experiences and ideas that may have carried over from your past patterns.
You’re More Likely to Work Through the Tough Times
When you regard a remarriage as temporary, as something that might or might not succeed, you’re creating an "escape clause" that can take the place of hard work. In the back of your mind, you’re allowing for the possibility that, if this person isn’t right for you, the next one might be.
That kind of thinking dooms a remarriage right from the start. It leads to shallow relationships, only partially pursued, that never achieve their highest potential or their deepest value. At some level, whether you know it or not, you are holding back from the kind of deep commitment that defines a lasting and fruitful partnership. Part of you continues thinking about another "new start" if needed.
Recently on Marriage
Have something to say about this article? Leave your comment via Facebook below!
Listen to Your Favorite Pastors
Add Crosswalk.com content to your siteBrowse available content