The solution?

Every example above is based on real couples, though modified in specifics so as to protect identities. Nearly all were in crisis. Fortunately, nearly every one of them eventually worked out their problems and salvaged their marriages. Even better, they made good marriages this time around.

The secret?

The most important factor was getting each person truly to hear the emotions the other shared. Most often it required counseling or great marriage coaching, but when they quit defending themselves and started opening themselves to genuinely understanding the other, things began to change.

 

The next most important factor was for each couple to become a team rather than to be in opposition. That did not mean that goals, ambitions, or drives were discarded. It did mean that each couple found a way to make it their dreams, not his or her dream. Some figured it out on their own, but most needed wise and competent third parties to find a way to make that happened.

Additionally, each learned to treat the other with utmost respect. Whether a spouse makes millions or earns no outside income, become famous worldwide or is known just within the neighborhood, rises to the top of the ladder or holds it for the other, each is as important, worthy, and needed as the other. Dignity and respect for the needs and desires of each other and egalitarian treatment in everything in life, are essential for any relationship to work.

If either of you in your marriage is rich, poor, famous, unknown, or anything else, making a marriage work requires each of you to support and love the other. If you are not communicating well, have trouble actually hearing each other, argue without solution, or find yourself tempted, get help now.

Being rich, famous, or successful and alone is still just that…alone.

 

Joe Beamfounded LovePath International, an organization that provides marriage help for hurting couples through a powerful workshop that restores and saves endangered marriage relationships.