…dash into meeting his or her family. Doing so signifies you are ready to get serious with that person.

…eliminate your time with same sex friends. This is a clear indication of an unsafe relationship.

…“Missionary Date” There is a strong tendency to assume, “This person is so wonderful, I know I can get them to accept Christ.” It rarely happens. And if you are a Christian you will then have the painful process of falling out of love with someone God forbids you to marry.

…ignore even the smallest signs of addiction.

…ignore any use of pornography. If you think this statement is prudish, read up on the traumatic and escalating effects of pornography under the resource section on my web site.

…ignore the dangerous signs of possessive manipulation or control. Phrases such as, “If you loved me you would”, “I act crazy because I love you so much,” “I’ll die (or commit suicide) if you leave me,” are tactics of a manipulator.

…misinterpret codependency and “rescuing someone” as mercy and kindness. Ask yourself: is he or she needy? Is this person looking for someone to relieve the pain of their situation? Do I feel the need to fix the circumstances?

…minimize the vast complexities of second marriage. As difficult as you think it might be, it’s twice as hard.

And the most important don’t of all is…Don’t let any person become more important or cause you to compromise your relationship with the Lord. He alone is the Lover of our Soul. And his passion for us runs deeper than we could imagine.

Portions of this article are taken from Laura’s book, When ‘I Do’ Becomes ‘I Don’t’—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce

Copyright © 2012 Laura Petherbridge. All rights reserved. 

Laura Petherbridge is an international author and speaker who serves couples and single adults with topics on relationships, divorce prevention, singleness, and divorce recovery. She is the author of When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, and a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series. Her newest book The Smart Stepmom is coauthored with Ron Deal. Her website is www.Laurapetherbridge.com.

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Publication date: October 5, 2012