Forgiving the "Other Woman"
- Wednesday, April 28, 2010
When I saw her in that light, I could empathize with the "other woman". I could forgive. I could understand. She gave up control of her story just like I've done so many times in too many ways. Her decision wreaked havoc in my life, but I've done the same in others' lives in other ways. If I couldn't forgive her this, how could I expect forgiveness myself?
It would have been easy to judge this woman, to judge my husband, to spend the rest of my life comfortable on my high horse and safe in my solitude. I tried that for a while. But, in reality, my horse rides lower than a lot of folks and keeps going only by the grace of God. He's a God who is clear about how forgiveness works - asking for it without giving it doesn't work.
He's also clear about His ability to make beauty where sorrow stood. In forgiving, I became able to love again. To trust in His story for me again. To take steps toward healing and acceptance. Today, nearly six years later, I'm a (usually) happily married woman with a three-year-old son and a daughter to be born in October.
When I sat down to write my novel Coming Unglued, I knew that Kendra (my main character) was ripe for an emotional affair. She'd taken enough steps in satan's story of her life to be at that monumental moment. I checked with my husband before embarking on this novel's writing because I knew the emotions would affect our marriage. He prayed me through, handing me Kleenex as I cried while I typed and patting my back as I shook my head at Kendra and at the remembrance of my first marriage.
I get asked a lot how I could write a story from the "other woman's" point of view, given my history. I smile, knowing that I'm just as fallen as any "other" woman. On days when I yell at my son or take my husband's love for granted or fail in any number of ways, I'm grateful for a God who forgives and who surrounds me with people who forgive. In the face of such a gift, how can I not offer forgiveness in return?
This article originally posted Sept. 22, 2008
Rebeca Seitz is the founder of SistersInk.net, a popular social networking site for scrapbookers looking to connect. Rebeca joins 26 million American women who scrapbook to capture fleeting family milestones, many of whom can relate to the juggling act of a career and motherhood. Rebeca's latest book, Coming Unglued, is the second in the only line of trade-size novels with a scrapbooking theme. The series, "Sisters, Ink," includes humorous works of contemporary fiction set against the backdrop of scrapbooking and chronicles the often-complicated lives of four multi-cultural, adopted sisters. For more information, please visit www.sistersink.net.
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