Replace anger with forgiveness. Let your gratitude for how God has forgiven you of your own sins motivate you to obey His call to forgive others who have sinned against you, including your spouse. Don’t wait to obey until you feel like forgiving, because you likely never will feel like doing so. Instead, choose to act in forgiving ways toward your spouse (treating him or her with kindness and welcoming the positive changes he or she makes rather than bringing up his or her past sin), and God will gradually change your feelings in the process.

Lean on the strength of other people. Turn to some people you trust to support you in your healing process and provide accountability and encouragement to your spouse to help him or her heal. Confess your struggles to them while they listen, and ask them to pray for you and your spouse regularly. Thank them for their care and trust God to work through them to help both you and your spouse.

Do whatever you can to save your marriage. As long as your spouse is repentant and willing to work on restoring trust in your relationship, do whatever it takes to work on your marriage to try to save it. Rather than looking for excuses to leave your marriage, look for reasons to restore it, and be willing to do what’s necessary to avoid the tragedy of divorce and rebuild trust in your marriage.

Ask God to make your marriage better than new. Keep praying for God to transform your marriage, and expect that as He does so, your marriage can become better than it was before your spouse’s affair – because you and your spouse have learned to trust God in deeper ways.

Adapted from Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration,copyright 2011 by Cindy Beal. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Or., www.harvesthousepublishers.com.

Cindy Beall is a writer, speaker, and a mentor to women. She and her husband, Chris, speak openly about their difficult journey through Chris’ infidelity and pornography addiction that nearly destroyed their marriage and ministry. Through God’s grace they have inspired thousands of couples and have returned to full-time ministry, where Chris serves as the Oklahoma City Campus Pastor at LifeChurch.tv. Visit her website at: www.cindybeall.com.

Whitney Hopler is a freelance writer and editor who serves as both a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and the editor of About.com’s site on angels and miracles (http://angels.about.com/). Contact Whitney at: angels.guide@about.comto send in a true story of an angelic encounter or a miraculous experience like an answered prayer.