Is Monogamy on Life Support?
- Monday, March 06, 2006
Our 'expert' on the subject of monogamy is a gentleman named Jacques Attalli. Here is his opening salvo...
"Monogamy, which is really no more than a useful social convention, will not survive. It has rarely been honored in practice; soon, it will vanish even as an ideal."
Okay it has officially happened. I have now become that grumpy old man that I used to ridicule. Mr.Attalli had my blood boiling after his first 29 words. Not bad. First of all, marriage is much more than a "useful social convention." Marriage is the God ordained structure for family and societal health. And in my primitive circles monogamy is not rarely practiced. There are couples all over the world that have the maturity and the emotional health to remain in a monogamous and loving relationship.
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife; and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Mark 10:6-9 (NIV)
I believe there is a spiritual dimension involved in the sexual union that makes it more than an episode on Animal Planet.
Mr.Attalli would disagree.
"Just as most societies now accept successive love relationships (they do?), soon we will acknowledge the legality and acceptability of simultaneous love."
Somebody help me here. What in the wide, wide world of sports are successive love relationships? Perhaps another word to describe a man involved in "successive love relationships" would be, oh let's see, jerk. And the day that we acknowledge "simultaneous love" as the standard is the day that we have lost the battle. I will celebrate (and that is the right word) my 30th wedding anniversary next July. It has not always been easy. We had some really rough times. But I am so grateful that we persevered. Something happens when a couple grows toward each other. When both parties give up the selfish expectation that the other person is responsible for their happiness then the biblical concept can begin to happen. My wife and I are experiencing that mystical journey of the two becoming one and I am more in love with her today than I was 30 years ago. There is a richness and depth to our relationship that could never be found in "simultaneous love."
Attalli has anticipated the battle with dinosaurs like me.
"The demise of monogamy will not come without a struggle (right!). All the churches will seek to forbid it, especially for women. (How about letting the women speak for themselves Jacque? Perhaps they would have a different take on your simultaneous love idea. I know that my bride would beg to differ).
Attalli sees that ultimately the "battle" will be won.
"For a while, they (those backward church people) will hold the line. But individual freedom (aka selfishness), once again, will triumph. The revolution will begin in Europe (surprise), America will follow (sadly likely), and the rest of the world will eventually come around."
Here is the truly heartbreaking part of Mr.Attalli's vision.
"Relationships with children will be radically different, (No kidding. Son, meet my friend Poopsie. She is my current successive love relationship) financial relationships will be disrupted and how and where we live will change. To be sure, it will take decades for the change to be complete, and yet, if we look around, it is already here. Beneath our hypocrisies in movies, novels, and music the shape of our future is visible."
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