Romance Your Wife to Spice Up Your Marriage
- Saturday, January 15, 2005
Are you bored with your marriage? Has the excitement you once felt when you thought of your wife now disappeared?
No matter how long you've been married, you can spice up your marriage if you learn how to woo your wife with the passion you had while you were dating. When you increase the romance in your marriage, you'll enjoy a relationship that's more dynamic than you may have thought possible!
Here are some ways you can woo your wife to enjoy a more exciting marriage:
• Give your wife the freedom to be herself. Realize that God made your wife uniquely for a good purpose. Accept her just as she is. Don't pressure her into fitting a stereotypical role in your household if that role doesn't match her personality or areas of giftedness (for example, you may be a better cook, and she may be better at paying the bills). Encourage your wife to make full use of all the talents God has given her, support her efforts while she does so, and applaud her accomplishments. Use your strengths to help empower her in areas where she has weaknesses.
• Build unity. Think in terms of "we and us" rather than "me and you" or "my and me." Strive to become best friends. Make decisions by consensus, not through power struggles. Base your marriage on love instead of rules or control. Ask God to show you how you and your wife's personalities can complement each other.
• Confront and overcome sinful behavior. Recognize and confront any sinful behavior patterns you may have in your marriage, such as verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Ask God to show you any wrong attitudes you may have toward your wife. Ask Him to reveal ways He wants you to change. Be courageous and willing to admit that you have a problem with the way you treat your wife. Ask your wife to tell you honestly about how sinful behavior patterns in your marriage has affected her, and listen without getting defensive.
Pursue God's healing and be willing to do the hard work of retraining your thoughts and actions. Spend regular time in prayer and with a counselor, support group, or accountability partner. Ask your wife to forgive you. Ask God to give you a vision of what your marriage could be like if you successfully work through the tough issues you're facing. Depend on God's strength rather than your own; and know that He will help you through until your healing is complete.
• Strive to treat your wife like a queen. Remember how you promised to cherish your wife when you married her. Know that, as a man of honor, you should offer her nothing less than your best. Don't withhold your time, attention, or money from her. Ask God to motivate you to be generous with your wife. Realize that if you treat your wife well, she will respond well to you.
• Build a healthy sex life. Realize that women need to build emotional intimacy with their husbands in order to respond well sexually in their marriages. Ask your wife what specific things you could do build an affectionate, emotionally intimate relationship with her.
Be willing to talk to your often, and take the time to genuinely listen to her. Touch her in nonsexual ways. Share your dreams with her and ask her to share hers with you. Pray together. Commit to impeccable hygiene. Stay in good physical shape as best you can. Dress attractively. Eat well, take vitamins, get the proper amount of sleep each night, and work through stress so you'll have energy for sex. If you're struggling with any sexual sins (such as an addiction to pornography), ask God for deliverance. Schedule time to have sex with your wife on a regular basis. Come up with new ideas for your romantic encounters so you don't settle into a routine.
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