Heal if you're a blue mood lover.  A blue mood lover (one who is sad or depressed) may be suffering from brain problems in the deep limbic system.  Some possible treatments:  Do some meaningful physical labor, preferably outdoors (from gardening to working on your car) to elevate your mood.  Eat frequent meals and snacks to keep your blood sugar levels steady and your energy up.  Take a supplement like fish oil.  Ask your doctor about prescribing antidepressant medication.  Go outside each day to get some natural sunlight if possible, and consider using a therapeutic lamp indoors.  Laugh as often as you can.  Make love with your spouse regularly.  Create an environment that fosters bright moods, such as by playing joyful music while you do household chores and decorating with colors that make you feel cheerful.  Make your home, workplace, and car as attractive as possible, since being around beauty will elevate your mood.  Avoid making any major decisions (especially in your marriage) until you feel better, since depression seriously skews your perspective on people and situations.

Heal if you're an agitated lover.  An agitated lover (one who is easily angered or irritated) may be suffering from brain problems in the temporal lobes.  Some possible treatments:  Ask your doctor about prescribing appropriate medications.  Take a supplement like fish oil.  Avoid sugar in your diet as much as possible, since it leads to low blood sugar, which leads to aggressiveness.  Play classical music to calm down.   Go dancing with your spouse, because the combination of movement and music calms your brain.  Get seven to nine hours of deep, restful sleep every night.  Use a biofeedback device to manage your stress.  Take anger management classes.  Celebrate the good memories you have each day to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

Heal if you're an anxious lover.  An anxious lover (one who is panicked or fearful) may be suffering from brain problems in the basil ganglia.  Recognize that you have the power to control your anxiety through techniques such as adding something familiar to an uncomfortable situation to make you feel more comfortable.  Turn your worries into prayers.  Question your anxious thoughts, asking yourself: "Is there another way to think about the same situation that might be more true, kind, uplifting, or positive?"  Focus your attention on the area of your body that feels most anxious, and imagine a warm, healing light melting it away.  Talk through an issue that's bothering you with a friend.  Consider adopting a pet, since studies have shown that they help people reduce their anxiety levels.  Exercise.  Take a bath.  Get a massage.  Drink some hot tea.  Use calming nutrition and supplements, and consider anti-anxiety medications.

Practice key behaviors toward your spouse.   Show your spouse kindness, patience, forgiveness, and honesty as often as you can.  When you make these behaviors habits, you'll fuel the flames of passion in your marriage. 

Adapted from This is Your Brain in Love: New Scientific Breakthroughs for a More Passionate and Emotionally Healthy Marriage, copyright 2010 by Dr. Earl Henslin.  Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tn., www.thomasnelson.com.   

Dr. Earl Henslin is a licensed counselor and author of six books and numerous professional articles. For the past fourteen years, working closely with brain imaging research pioneer, Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. Henslin has been integrating brain imaging in patient treatment.