Shedding Some Light on Twilight
- Monday, July 12, 2010
I would warn Bella against a spiritual mismatch. I would also warn her against the mismatch in their ages (he's 110, she's 17… really???!!!), their education (he's gone to school for decades, she isn't even finished high school), their cultural upbringing (He drinks blood, she doesn't. She eats food, he doesn't.), and their values (He is a vampire, after all. Even though he's "nice," he still engages in vampire-ish and occultist practices—just like "nice" white witches are still involved in witchcraft, and nice cocaine addicts still have an addiction to cocaine.).
A severe mismatch does not lend itself well to a good, lasting marriage. This is particularly the case when the mismatch is one of spiritual darkness versus light.
6. Neediness and Obsession
Bella is needy. She's obsessed with Edward. He is all she thinks about. When Edward breaks up with her, she sinks into a deep depression. She feels she can't live without him. The movie implies that she becomes suicidal. She throws herself off a cliff and tries to drown in order to connect with Edward. She cares about Edward more than she cares about her relationship with God, and more than she cares about her life. She's entirely willing to forfeit her soul for her need of Edward.
Edward is also needy. He stalks Bella and watches her continually. He even sneaks into her room and watches her while she sleeps. He shows up in her head in visions and speaks to her. (In my opinion, it's downright creepy.)
I would warn Bella against neediness. I'd tell her that if she feels so desperate for Edward that she can't live without him, then learning to live without him is the very thing she most needs to do. I would warn her not to rely on men for her sense of self-worth, identity, or happiness. I would tell her that the only one she truly needs is Jesus. And in order to have a healthy marriage, she needs to work on cultivating inner strength and wholeness, based on a personal relationship with Christ. A needy relationship is bad news. Needy women go through a revolving door of relationships, from one "Edward" to the next. I would want Bella to know that there is no man on the face of this earth that will meet the deep desires of her heart. Only Jesus can do that.
7. Rationalization and Justification
Another sign of a bad relationship is when a woman feels the need to rationalize and justify it. Bella rationalized being in a relationship with a vampire. She reasoned that since he was such a nice vampire, and was trying really hard to behave, and restrained his desire to bite and kill her, that somehow his niceness and self-control and love made their relationship okay. She rationalized the lies, deceit, and compromise by thinking that it was all for the greater good. She self-importantly thought that she was helping him. She was the only one who truly understood him and the only one who could give him the love he needed. She was the only one who completely accepted him and saw the good in him. She rationalized things so that she could convince herself that her bad boy wasn't really all that bad.
But a vampire is a vampire. Bella cannot give a vampire a soul and make him human. No amount of rationalization on her part can justify their relationship or the risk she is exposing herself to. A good relationship doesn't require rationalization and justification. It is self-evident that it is good.
8. Failure to Seek & Heed Input
Bella doesn't confide in her parents about the nature of her relationship with Edward. Nor does she seek counsel from any other friends or family. When her father tries to give her some advice, she shrugs it off as inconsequential. She knows better. No one else understands.
If Bella were my daughter, I'd notice these danger signs, and I'd warn her loudly and clearly about falling for a counterfeit version of true romance. I'd worry. I'd pray. I'd ask the Lord to break it up. Because although Edward is cute and seems so nice, he's undeniably dangerous.
Recently on Parenting
Have something to say about this article? Leave your comment via Facebook below!
Listen to Your Favorite Pastors
Add Crosswalk.com content to your siteBrowse available content