"Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ray, a drop of golden sun" . . . I could just see myself singing it while dancing around the Residenz Fountain in Austria.

“Bong, bong” . . . I could hear Big Ben ringing while sailing on the River Thames.

I could get lost in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican City while admiring the work of Michelangelo.

I could sit at one of Paris' outdoor restaurants and order a café au lait. I can just smell it now.

Toward the end of my college days (many years ago), I started to plan a trip to Europe. I had my work visa, passport, and other documents to make the trek. I had even purchased my airline ticket. The world was my oyster, and I was ready to partake with a little hot sauce. I felt invincible, powerful and independent. I was single, and I could do anything and go anywhere. I was free, free, freeeeee!

Well, I hate to say it but the day after I graduated from college I met a man. This man quickly distracted me and led me down a dark road. A road that chose us over God. A road that got me in a lot of trouble. A road that led to pain. I spent the next couple of years away from not only my family but from the path God had set out for me. God had designed my singleness to be used by him for his glory, but instead, I was using it to serve me and my boyfriend. We ended up living together which had gone against all that I knew that was right. We partied and spent money like it grew on trees. Yes, we were having fun but there was no joy. For joy only came from God. Every day God reminded me that I was his and that my life was worth more than where I was.

As the "happy" part of the relationship started to become sad due to fear, conviction of my sin, bill collectors and the disappointment of my friends and family, God was there with his hands held out. Due to my sin, my shame, I felt so unworthy to God. I left my boyfriend but instead of going back to the Lord, I wandered another year, looking for truth, looking for love, and looking for peace, again leading only to disaster. Finally, the day came where I was at my lowest point in my life. I had nothing. My money was gone, and I was in deep debt. I was barely eating. I looked and felt horrible. Then God, yet again, reminded me of the path he had chosen for me. This time, I chose him. This choice was the start of realizing my life as a single had the power, the peace, and the joy that I was seeking. I was learning that only God could fill me, not a man, not money, not drugs, not stuff and not even my family or friends. Only God could give me my value. Only God could define me. The question then was: how would I use this knowledge, this power?

Over the next twenty years God continued to mold and shape me as a single adult. I have so many stories of how my path, my choices were significant life markers due to being single—from starting my own business to leaving it all to go into full-time ministry, from taking care of one grandmother to another to my own father, all because being single allowed me the flexibility to do so. I am blessed in my singleness.

So, I was wondering if others might feel the same way and how their singleness has impacted their lives. I was curious if they felt that their singleness was valuable. Did they see God using them as a single? Let me introduce you to Jean, Jonathan, Rachel, Lyle and Trina . . .


I have been single my entire adult life. I have always known my singleness was used by God to advance his kingdom. Even though there were times I wanted to be married, I also had grown to be content with where God had me. Until recently, I had been working in full-time ministry. My denomination had some cutbacks, and I was reduced to part-time work. I prayed and asked God what was I to do. At 59, who in the world would hire me? Also, how would I live on a part-time salary.