Please know I have been where you are. I had the conversation and the guy didn't feel the same way. Although it was difficult to hear this, I was thankful because I knew where our friendship stood. I didn't have to wonder anymore. Please know, as with all relationship (friends or romantic), we need great communication. He may be thinking the same as you but due to your past together is thinking you just want to be friends. Go slow, keep praying, trust God, invite others to pray and hold you accountable.

Final thought: I do believe the man's role is to do the chasing, but I think it's the role of both to communicate. For most women you will know when a man is interested, so you can wait. But, with your mutual past together, I think you might be passed the chasing and need to just talk to each other.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17).

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is … Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and FromHisHands.com Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is also the author of three books.

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately.

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid@crosswalk.com (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.

Publication date: August 22, 2013