5 Ways to Discern What God Wants for Your Family

1. Start with Prayer

Prayer is our ultimate lifeline to the Father, creating such a personal and special way in which we connect to Him. There are multiple references throughout scripture that proclaim if we confess to God from the depths of our hearts, earnestly seeking His will, that whatever we ask, we will receive (1 John 5:14, John 14:13, Mark 11:24). So, as we bring our heart to Him, praying for Him to lead our families, we can do three things: praise, present, and proceed.

Praise: Start by praising God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon you and your family. This is where we can really pay attention to detail and be intentional about really showering God with our thanks, gratefulness, and praise.

Present: After giving Him your heart of praise, then present your family to Him and ask for His guidance. Share with Him your deepest desires and wants for each of your family members, and open up about the struggles and challenges your family is facing. Lay it all out here for Him. While He already knows, He wants to hear from you, as it allows Him to move and align your heart to His.

Proceed: Lastly, in the stillness of your prayer, invite God in to reveal steps to take in order to trust and obey Him. Are there areas in your life you need to surrender or give up control? Maybe you need to set better boundaries around your time or allow room for more growth opportunities to emerge. Search your heart and what you feel God is pressing upon it. Then, walk in obedience and step out in faith, carrying out what He is commanding of you.

Start with taking your heart to God alone in a still and quiet space, then pray with your spouse, and finally as a family. As you all begin to pray, God will begin to reveal His plan for your family.

2. Get Into The Word

While prayer is essential to our lives, if we aren’t digging into His Word, we aren’t truly getting the full picture of our God. Where prayer is for us to connect to Him, reading His Word helps us to truly “know Him.” Just as you pray alone and then as a family, you can also have time alone with God in His Word, then gather your crew and dive in together. The beauty of reading the Word aloud as a family is that the enemy has nowhere to hide. Just hearing Jesus spoken in your home will cause anything not of God to shrivel and cower down.

Maybe the idea of reading the Bible as a family sounds nice, but I can understand that it can also feel a bit intimidating and overwhelming. So, start with a family devotional, or just open to the books of Ephesians or Proverbs as they share such wise words of wisdom and encouragement. Just by reading a verse or two a day opens up a line of communication that will allow you and your family to explore the wonders of our God and experience His loving nature.

3. Have a Family Meeting

When big changes or decisions need be made and you have prayed about it, dug into His Word, and the future still looks a little cloudy, band together as a family and openly share your heart. Of course, you will want to be sure this is age appropriate, but when gathering as a family, start by putting away all distractions, including cell phones and turning off the tv. While that sounds simple and easy enough, presenting big topics to our children can often catch them off guard, cause them to shut down, or turn to something to deflect the subject matter.

So, before heading into a family meeting, pray that God lead the conversation and that the hearts of your children remain soft. Also, ask that you use your words wisely and that they come across in a loving and gentle manner. Three things to keep in mind when having a family meeting:

1. Meet somewhere comfortable without distractions.
2. Keep the topic simple and the delivery direct.
3. Be gentle and understanding when questions or concerns arise.

Remember that children are adaptable and can bend and sway to change a little easier when there is a calm environment and they have support from their parents.

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4. Seek Wise Counsel

Proverbs 15:22 states that plans fail without the lack of wise counsel. Did you catch that? Maybe read it again, because this profound verse holds so much significance. The Bible also tells us that a man’s heart will plan his way, but the Lord will direct His path (Proverbs 16:9). God is telling us in these verses that without Him, our own plans will meander and eventually fall apart. The bottom line is that our own heart is naturally bent to be selfish and foolish (Jeremiah 17:9), so we tend to seek what pleases our own heart, which can be a detriment to our families.

However, when we seek God in prayer, get into His Word, and seek wise counsel from a trusted and faithful friend or God-fearing community of believers, we find that accountability is a gift from God. God created us for fellowship to help us find our way and to grow closer to Him. Other believers come alongside us and extend their arms over us in prayer while giving us the encouragement we need to continue down the path God is laying out for us.

5. Praise God in the Wait

As we wait upon the Lord to intercede on behalf of our family and lead and direct us, we must praise Him in the meantime. That comes in all kinds of forms and could be putting praise and worship music on in the car, attending a church event that lifts up your voice to the Lord, or gathering with a few friends, sharing how God has been so good to you and giving Him thanks. It could also be just as simple as lifting up your praises in prayer. But, in making a conscience effort to praise God, daily, it postures our heart to be patient while we wait for the Lord to reveal His plan for our families.

Start today by making it an act of surrendering your heart to God and letting Him know that you are so glad He is the King of your life through your heartfelt praise. This action of praising God in the wait is also modeling for your children just how we trust God in every season of our lives.

Here are a few other ways to praise God in the waiting.

-Start a gratitude journal.

-Go for a walk and soak in His presence.

-Listen to a faith-based podcast.

-Read an uplifting devotional.

-Hum your favorite worship song as you go about your day.

If praising God is difficult, come clean with your heart and give Him your struggles. Be real and honest with God and let Him do a work in you so that you can move past the barriers preventing you from praising Him.

A Closing Prayer

Faithful Father, we are so thankful that You are an intimate and personal God that sees us and knows our hearts, and the precious hearts of our children. Lord, please lead and guide us as a family and direct our paths. Show us the way in which You want us to go, and grant us the strength to obey You and submit to Your will. As we step out in faith and seek You with our whole heart in prayer, help us set aside time to read Your Word and discuss Your nature as a family. Give us the opportunities to gain wise counsel and ways to honor you through our praises as we wait on You. We trust and know Your timing is perfect and know Your plan for our family is good. We love You and ask all this in Your holy name. Amen.