There I was, standing at the entrance of my church for the zillionth time. Waiting for Bob, or maybe it was John or it could have been Dave. It didn't matter because there seemed to be a pattern – a pattern where I would meet this great guy,and he would tell me "Sure, I go to church," which, of course, was enough information for me to date him.

I would arrive at church early, eagerly waiting to have him join me, when much to my repeated surprise he wouldn't show. There would be other times when he would show, but be late, bored and distracted.

When was I going to figure it out? How many guys would I date in the hopes of either getting them "saved" or "walking right" with God? How long was it going to take for me to listen to God?

Hey, as a single adult myself, I know it's hard to find someone. It seems you have to kiss a lot of frogs, and then you still don't find the right one. I have heard all the stories, not to mention I have a few of my own. "He told me he was a believer." "He goes to church every Sunday." "At least he isn't bad person." "He grew up in church." "I know if I can just be the example, he will change." Are there any I am missing here?

I know of the desperation. Desperation that blinds us. Desperation that allows us to settle. Desperation that lies to us. Desperation that causes us to lose judgement. I know you get tired of waiting on God. Some of you haven't even begun to wait, while others may have given up.

... that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. 1 Peter 4:2

Five Levels of Missionary Dating

I have personally been through the all the levels listed below. I am sure there may be many more or less based on your own experience. I guess I have always known in my heart that any guy who didn't love God, didn't put Christ first and wasn't growing in his relationship with Christ by the evidence of his fruit is someone I shouldn't date. However, I did anyway.

As each relationship unfolded, there would be a pattern. These men weren't pushing me toward Christ, but instead pulling me away. It would take some time – even a few years – before I would get it. I would have to experience all the levels to truly understand. So what level have you experienced? Perhaps you are at one of these right now and are struggling with giving him up -- with giving the relationship to God.

  • LEVEL 1
    You have had one date. I mean, one date won't hurt anyone. I need a life, you know. It's nice to have a man take you out, spend money on you, and tell you you're pretty. However, the whole time you are talking with him at dinner, sharing about your life, your dreams, how many kids you want one day and your relationship with God, he is looking at the waitresses. You are at the point of unbelief. You have wasted yet another night of your life with the wrong guy, just hoping that your relationship with God would be enough for the both of you. It's not. You give him to God. God takes him out of your life.

  • LEVEL 2
    You have a few dates. He seems nice. You invite him to church on Sunday. You end up in a lengthy conversation about God. This intrigues you because he seems interested IN God. But after a few more dates you realize that he is interested in God because you are. You realize that he is interested in all kinds of gods. You know he needs to go. You give him to God even though he has the coolest convertible. God takes him out of your life.

  • LEVEL 3
    You've been dating for a month. You don't know each other that well yet. Yes, you have probably kissed him already. He seems to want to move faster in the romance department than you would like. You confront him about what God says, and he tells you that if you cared about him, you would show it. Oh my gosh, you're here again. It's sounding familiar. His walk doesn't match his talk. Thankfully you haven't dated him very long. However, you went farther physically then you should have. You were just so lonely, and he filled that part of your heart. At least you thought he had. You finally give him to God. God takes him out of your life.