Schedule wedding showers and parties. Know that if you have a large family and many friends, it may work best to have two wedding showers (one with family and one with friends). Consider creative ideas for wedding parties, such as a brunch, a day at a spa for the women, or a day hiking in the wilderness or enjoying paintball for the men. Don’t schedule a bachelor or bachelorette party for the night before the wedding to avoid being too tired for your big day, and when you do have them, avoid activities you’ll regret later.

Choose your invitations wisely. Save money by having your invitations printed by the thermography method instead of engraving, and using basic black ink instead of color. If you realistically have the time and ability to do so, make your own invitations. When you’re addressing the envelopes, however, don’t use a computer – handwrite them or use calligraphy. If you’re planning a destination wedding that involves travel, send a “Save the Date” card before mailing invitations to give your guests plenty of notice.

Plan your reception well. Understand that the time of day or night you choose for your reception will determine what guests expect to eat, which will significantly affect your budget. When considering a reception location, take a thorough tour to make sure that the location features all the resources you’ll need (space, equipment, bathrooms, parking, table linens, etc.). Find out what other events are scheduled for that day and how much time will be allotted between bookings; plan enough time to set up and take down everything, and for your guests to enjoy their meal. Remember that you’ll need to submit a final head count a few weeks before your wedding, and that count will determine the amount you’ll need to pay whether or not all your guests show up. Set an RSVP date accordingly. Ask your caterer plenty of questions so you understand their policies completely.

Reduce your stress. Let go of futile attempts to please everyone or have a perfect wedding. Expect that something will go wrong, and know that’s okay. Be flexible and have a sense of humor. Be sure to get enough sleep and exercise so you’re not run down as your wedding approaches. Be realistic about how much you can accomplish in a day; slow down your pace as much as possible.

Prepare well for your honeymoon. Make travel plans with your fiancé and enjoy looking forward to experiencing your upcoming trip together. Be sure to visit a doctor for a thorough checkup before your honeymoon, and have your fiancé do the same. Keep your honeymoon expectations realistic, considering that you’ll just have come through a very stressful season leading up to your wedding and you’ll need to rest both physically and emotionally. Be patient with each other.

Deal with doubts wisely. Know that wedding jitters are normal to experience. Deal with your fear of losing your independence by maintaining old friendships and activities that are important to you. Remember that, while some things in your life will change, some things can stay the same. If you’re plagued with more serious doubts, face them honestly. Pray about them, and seek feedback from trusted family and friends. Don’t go through with your wedding just to try to avoid the pain and embarrassment of canceling it. If you’re not at peace, look beyond to the wedding to the potential marriage and consider your situation from a long-term perspective. If you can’t truly work through the issues standing in the way of your peace, go ahead and cancel your wedding to save yourself future misery. Send out a simple note to your guests simply informing them that your wedding won’t take place, and don’t feel the need to explain why. If you don’t have enough time to send a note, ask family and friends to help you call your guests to inform them, again without having to give a reason behind your decision. Be sure to return all the gifts you’ve already received.

Keep the focus on worship. Remember that your wedding ceremony is also a worship ceremony. Design it so that it sends the right message about you and your fiancé’s faith in Christ. Make your primary goal to express your eternal covenant with God and each other. Incorporate symbols that illustrate the meaning behind your vows, such as a unity candle lighting. Be sure that your vows fully express the promises you want to make to God and each other, that they reflect what each of you expects from marriage, and that they’re consistent with biblical doctrine. Practice saying your vows before the ceremony, so you’ll be confident saying them during your wedding.

Adapted from A Simple Wedding, by Sharon Hanby-Robie, copyright 2007 by GuidepostsBooks.  Published by GuidepostsBooks, New York, N.Y., www.guidepostsbooks.com.    

Sharon Hanby-Robie is an acclaimed interior design professional and the author of several books, including My Name Isn’t Martha, But I Can Decorate My Home and My Name Isn’t Martha, But I Can Renovate My Home (Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, 1998 and 1999) and Beautiful Places, Spiritual Spaces (Moody Publishing, 2004). Sharon is the resident home décor expert for QVC Home Shopping Network. She has been featured extensively as an industry expert for both radio and television programs, appearing on The Today Show, PBS’s Handy Ma’am, HGTV’s Decorating with Style and Interiors by Design as well as The Maurey Povich Show and The Gale King Show. Visit Sharon’s website at www.sharonhanbyrobie.com.