Assumption #6: Your son needs a call to manhood. Ultimately, the call to a young man is to step up and become a noble man, a moral man, a spiritual man, God's man. You're going to call your sons as they move through adolescence to step up to maturity and step up to real manhood. And to do that, they need a mother and a father repetitively teaching Scripture and encouraging them as they do take these steps toward maturity.

I think one of the finest illustrations of this is in Proverbs, chapters 5-7. In this passage, the writer was reflecting back on conversations he had with his son about aggressive women. And over and over he basically says, "Listen, my son. Hear my warnings. Embrace what I say, because it's important."

The writer concludes the whole passage by saying in 7:2-27, "Don't fool around with her, Son. Don't go near her. Because she runs a halfway house to hell, and she has your grave clothes and your coffin, Son. Heads up. This is dangerous stuff we're talking about here" (my paraphrase).

One other Scripture your son should be familiar with, and commit to memory, is 2 Timothy 2:22:

Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

That passage is equally helpful for young men and young women. And while we're on the subject, what if you have daughters; how do you keep them from being drawn into this culture of aggressive girls?

Training your daughters

If you are raising a daughter, there are at least four things you should consider:

1) Equip your daughter with a biblical, healthy, God-centered perspective of her sexuality. She needs to understand how her clothes and her behavior affect boys. When girls are too flirty or too friendly with the opposite sex, they need to be told. If you witness this kind of behavior, rehearse it and relive it later on and talk about what it does to guys. Explain what is appropriate in terms of a friendly relationship between a young lady and a young man. This needs to be done without being rude, but we cannot let our daughters get away with being overly friendly or overly aggressive.

2) Moms, model what you teach to your daughters. You need to dress appropriately, the way you would want your teenage daughters to dress when they've matured. There is a mixed signal that is sent when a mom is telling her daughter to dress conservatively, but her own clothes call too much attention to her body.

3) Dads, actively love your daughters. Give your daughter words of affection, warm hugs, and gentle kisses that let her know that she's sweet, you're her daddy, and that no matter how big she gets and how mature she is, you're never going to stop giving her those words and those hugs. No matter how threatening that may be as your daughter matures, you need to let her know that there's a wholesome love through words and affection that occurs within a God-centered family.

4) Appropriately correct inappropriate behavior. Pray about how you should instruct her, help her, and correct her. Then begin to train her as to what is appropriate and what isn't. This could be everything from how she looks at guys to the makeup she wears to the clothing she wears.

One of the most important things I did with our daughters was to go shopping with them. It was important for two reasons: It showed me how difficult it was for them to find appropriate clothing that is modest and fashionable; and secondly, it allowed me to give my approval or disapproval before the purchase was made.

Whether you're a mom or dad, and whether you're raising boys or girls, your children need your love and guidance as never before. They need to be loved when they don't believe in themselves. They need to be clothed in wisdom that morally protects them like armor.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

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Dennis Rainey is the president and cofounder of FamilyLife a division of Campus Crusade for Christ, and a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary. Dennis is senior editor of the HomeBuilders Couples Series® and daily host of the nationally syndicated and award winning radio program “FamilyLife Today.” He was the recipient of the National Religious Broadcasters Radio Program Producer of the Year Award for 1995 and 2003. Dennis has authored numerous books including Staying Close, a winner of the Gold Medallion Award from the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association.

 

This article originally posted on oneplace.com.