Manage stress wisely. Acknowledge how stressful serving in ministry truly is, and do your best to manage the stress you face well. Let go of an unhealthy need for accomplishment, an unhealthy desire for other people’s approval, perfectionism, and hard-charging ambition. Resolve anger that’s causing you stress. Surrender your ministry situation to God and ask Him to give you the peace you need. Rely on His power working through you instead of trying to do your ministry work through just your own efforts. Connect with God through spiritual disciplines, such as: meditation, prayer, fasting, simplicity, solitude, submission, and worship. Create margins in the pages of your life by eliminating activities that aren’t truly important so you’ll be free to spend time and energy on what matters most. Schedule enough downtime and rest for yourself. Make time regularly to get away from your ministry demands to spend time in quiet reflection. Plug into nurturing relationships with other people who care about you. Build short breaks into various points of your workday to refresh yourself, and take longer breaks for retreats, days off, vacations, sabbaticals, etc. If your thinking about the challenges you face is in a rut, confide in some people you trust and invite them to give you a fresh perspective on your situation. Pray for the Holy Spirit to bring Scripture to your mind that applies to your situation. Improve your work habits so you’ll be more organized and efficient, which will decrease your stress level. Make sure you get enough sleep every night, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Know that even simple practices like deep breathing, affectionate touch (like a hug or handshake), therapeutic massage, and giving yourself small rewards (like a walk or a nap) for jobs done well can reduce stress. If you need help from a health care professional, don’t hesitate to consult one, since stress can significantly damage your health when left unchecked.

Set boundaries. Establish and maintain clear personal boundaries so you can focus on what matters most, both professionally and personally. Whenever someone asks you to use your time, energy, and ministry resources to help them, ask: “Is this person typically responsible or irresponsible?”, “Does this person own up to the problem, or is he or she blaming others for the lack of follow-through?”, “What are my motives for and against helping this person?”, and “How might God be glorified in this situation?”. Recognize that the mere presence of a need doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re the one God has called to meet it. But also be willing to help if God is calling you, despite the inconvenience. Don’t live from crisis to crisis; instead, try as much as possible to align your daily and weekly tasks with what’s important (rather than just what’s urgent). Protect the time you need to invest regularly in your relationships with God, your spouse, and close friends. Make time regularly to clarify your ministry vision through prayer, fasting, and reflection. Set boundaries around who can access you and when. Take the phone off the hook during family meals, don’t call into the office on vacations, check e-mail only at predetermined times, assign another minister or a lay leader to be on call for hospital visitation on your days off, etc. When something urgent demands you attention during family time, don’t be afraid to say that you have an appointment you can’t break. Decide carefully who you will and won’t let in as friends. Set boundaries that will help you resist sexual temptation and maintain purity if you’re single or a healthy marriage if you’re married. Place boundaries around the way you spend your time and money so you’ll be a good steward of it. Think before you speak and before reacting to what others say to you, setting appropriate boundaries so you don’t regret your conversations. Maintain strong boundaries around your inner life so you can resist attacks from evil spiritual forces and stay close to God through the Holy Spirit.

Energize your ministry through recreation. Recognize that God has designed life to operate in a rhythm that includes regular time for recreation. Understand that disrupting that balance by working too much will actually make you less effective in your ministry. Figure out how much time you really spend on ministry work – both onsite and off – by charting the number of hours you do anything that relates to your ministry during a typical week. Then figure out how to increase the number of hours you spend on recreation each week. Counter your excuses: If you don’t think you have enough time, work on better stewardship. If you think you have other more important things to do, work on prioritizing better. If you think you have too many responsibilities to deal with, work on delegating. If you think that people expect you to be available, stop seeking approval through people and focus on pleasing God alone. If you don’t feel like you need a break, stop denying the reality that you do. Get enough rest so your body and mind can recuperate. Take an afternoon nap or do something refreshing during your time off work. Make time to play through fun activities on a regular basis. Renew yourself spiritually through activities that help you grow closer to God. Set some goals for how you’d like to use recreation to improve your life physically (such as increasing your stamina), mentally (like learning about a new ministry area), emotionally (such as getting in touch with why you’ve been feeling sad or angry lately), and spiritually (drawing closer to God in a way He’s leading you to do so). Make sure your goals are specific, achievable, and measurable. Be patient, making changes gradually so you can best incorporate them into your life. Evaluate your progress regularly and make whatever adjustments are necessary.

Develop people skills. Get to know your own personality well, and be aware that when you experience conflict with others, it may simply be because of how their personalities differ from yours. Learn how to work with different types of people so you can tailor your ministry efforts most successfully toward the various people you encounter. Resolve conflicts wisely, either by overlooking the offense or engaging those who have offended you in prayerful and loving dialogue aimed at solving the problem. Be willing to forgive as God forgives you. Listen to others well by eliminating distractions; giving your full attention to the people speaking; remembering your reason for listening (because the people to whom you minister are important); suspending judgment about the topic until you understand the other person’s perspective on it; listening for themes in the person’s story; reflecting the person’s message back in your own words to clarify it; asking thoughtful questions; and responding to the content, feelings, and meaning of what the person tells you. Be assertive when others make requests of you, or when you make requests of others: Identify who owns the problem, describe the problem, state the consequences, describe your feelings, pause, and make a direct assertion. Negotiate “win-win” solutions to problems so both parties are satisfied. Respond to critics by either agreeing with the kernel of truth in their statements or by agreeing with their right to have an opinion, even though you disagree with it. Stand by your convictions while still respecting the people who criticize you.

Learn leadership skills. Invite the Holy Spirit to transform you from the inside out so you can become the leader God wants you to be. Practice integrity in every part of your life, relying on God’s strength to live out a walk that aligns with your internal desire for holiness. Ask God to show you how you can maximize your strengths and overcome your weaknesses to be most effective in ministry. Keep up with changes in your ministry work due to technology shifts, changing needs and desires of people in your community, ethnic and age diversity in your congregation, and other factors. Get to know the people to whom you minister, learning their dreams, passions, and what makes them discontent. Whenever you must go through a change together, communicate clearly and regularly with them during the process. Lead as you are rather than trying to lead like someone else. Discover your unique leadership style and use it. Don’t compare your ministry to other ministries; ask God to give you the confidence to do your work the way He has uniquely designed you to do it. Pray for God to constantly renew your love for the people you serve and help you stay focused on His vision for your ministry. Learn how to resolve conflict well. View yourself as part of a team of people whose ministry efforts are just as valuable as yours; do all you can to encourage and support them as you work toward common goals together.

Adapted from Preventing Ministry Failure: A ShepherdCare Guide for Pastors, Ministers and Other Caregivers, copyright 2007 by Michael Todd Wilson and Brad Hoffmann. Published by IVP Books, an imprint of InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Ill., www.ivpress.com.
Michael Todd Wilson is a licensed professional counselor and cofounder of ShepherdCare. He is the coauthor of Soul Virgins: Redefining Single Sexuality (Baker Books).
Brad Hoffmann is senior pastor of Memorial Baptist Church in Baytown, Texas, and cofounder of ShepherdCare.