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*When Archimedes was demonstrating his new invention called the lever, someone asked how much one could move with such a contraption. He answered, "Give me a place to stand and I will move the world."

J. B. Phillips wrote an excellent book on the Christian faith by the title, "A Place to Stand."

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*New Orleans native Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong, after whom our airport is named, was asked if it bothered him that so many musicians copy his style. "Not really," he said. "A lotta cats copy the Mona Lisa, but people still line up to see the original."

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*While we're on the subject of Armstrongs, how about Neil, the astronaut. He was chatting with some famous travelers, picking their brains on countries they had visited. "But Mr. Armstrong," they said, "you've walked on the moon. We want to hear about your travels." He said, "But that's the only place I've been."

When Neil Armstrong--said to be a devout Christian--was visiting the Holy Land, he asked his guide if it was certain that Jesus had walked these very steps up to the Temple Mount. Assured that He surely must have, Armstrong said, "Then I have to tell you, I am more excited stepping on these stones than I was stepping on the moon."

I've been there (to Israel, not the moon) and know the feeling.

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*Someone asked diplomat Warren Austin if he didn't get tired of the debates in the United Nations that droned on and on. "Yes," he answered, "but it is better for old diplomats to be bored than for young men to die."

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Okay, last two.

*Sir Thomas Beecham, the British conductor, was irritating a friend on the elevator by whistling a tune from Mozart. "Must you do that?" the friend said. Beecham answered, "You may be able to hear only my whistling; I can hear the full orchestra."

I put that in because that is precisely what I was doing during my teenage years while whistling or singing in the field all day long. I was hearing the quartet or the choir singing along with me, never just my own voice. Once I heard my voice on tape and realized there was no choir or orchestra backing me up, I dropped the singing and stuck with whistling.

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*A friend of Alfred Hitchcock told this one on the famous director. They were on an elevator and engaging in idle chit-chat. The lift stopped and a man and woman got on. "So," Hitchcock said to his friend as though he had been in the middle of a story, "I leaned over the corpse to see if he was dead, and pulled the knife out of him. I wiped it on my trousers and placed it back in the kitchen drawer. I walked out the back door, caught a bus on the corner, and heard no more about it." The elevator stopped and everyone got off. As Hitch walked away with his friend, he said, "Now, they will talk about that for the rest of their lives!"

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I don't know about you, but I love a good story (the only thing I like better than hearing one is being the person telling it). I will buy an expensive book of anecdotes for one story worth telling and retelling for the rest of my life and consider it a bargain.

Most of the above stories came from the huge "Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes" edited by Clifton Fadiman. It contains thousands of stories, all of them memorable and many of which will make great sermon illustrations. (The Bill Bradley and Alfred Hitchcock stories came from my memory. It seems I heard the two men telling them on television at one time or another. I'm certain they are true.)

Looking for the perfect book to buy your pastor for a birthday, anniversary, or Christmas? I recommend this one. My favorite internet book supplier www.alibris.com has it for 10 bucks used and less than $30 new. It lists for 50 dollars.

Dr. Joe McKeever is a Preacher, Cartoonist, and the Director of Missions for the Baptist Association of Greater New Orleans. Visit him at joemckeever.com/mt. Used with permission.