Tempus fugit! Time flies. Where does it go? Why do we seem to have so little of it? Does it ever seem like we have enough to go around for our families and for the ministry to which God has called us? Why does it seem like we are jugglers, feverishly trying to keep all the balls in the air without dropping any of them to the ground?

One of the problems of ministry in the 90s is the increasing strain of time pressures that pull at us daily. In his very practical book, Margin, Dr. Richard Swenson highlights a major stressor of this generation which does not honor the Lord, namely, marginless living. Our schedules are maxed out, not at 100%, but at 120%!

As a skillful doctor diagnosing his patient’s illness, Swenson pinpoints the pain we experience for what it is, the result of overloaded lives. We make choices in work and relationships that leave no room for margin, which is that critical space needed between ourselves and our limits. If that is the case for Mr. and Mrs. Average American, what must be the normal situation for pastors who are constantly trying to achieve the delicate balance of prioritizing time for family and ministry?

In the divine scheme of relationships, the God of Heaven intended for the pastor’s first ministry to be his family, not the church. The pastor is a family man, as evidenced by the qualifications laid out in I Timothy 3 and Titus 1. His family either qualifies or disqualifies him from his calling to be one who models Truth to the Lord’s people. If being a pastor involved no more than telling people what to do, any gifted orator or expositor could handle that. However, the Lord of the Church expects pastors to “flesh out” the Truth in their family lives by being human analogues of Himself, the loving, nurturing Bridegroom.

How does a pastor make time for those whom he loves? The first crucial area of time should be for the pastor’s wife. As a special gift from the Lord, she is his partner in love, in parenting, and in ministry. I have a plaque in my study that reads: “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Pastors’ wives endure unique stresses in the ministry, and they need to know that we cherish them. The Mosaic command for husbands to cheer up or bring happiness to their wives (Deuteronomy 24:5) can be carried out only as we spend time with them and as we demonstrate that we are committed to pleasing them. (See I Corinthians 7:33.)